* Vegetable Macaroni Cheese Bake {Meatless Mondays}

Just recently I tried the 5:2 fasting diet, where I could eat normally (hah...) for five days and only eat 500 calories for two days... in each week. My brain took it upon itself to totally ignore the word "normally" and proceeded to use my hands to stuff my face with anything that wasn't nailed down and was even vaguely edible... on the five days, and then it cried itself to sleep on the two days.

My bum and my brain are in cahoots, apparently they both want to be bigger and one is aiding the other. This is not a good thing.

So... having grounded my brain and forbidden it to associate with my bum... I've joined Weight Watchers... again. Fourth time might be the charm... might. I've already lost 5.5lbs in one week, but this could just be the whole "This is new and we're making an effort this week" thing that I do. I know I do this. It's a personality defect that I have grown to accept, if not love.

This Vegetable and Macaroni Cheese Bake is one of my better efforts at cutting out the cr@p and adding in loads of veggies. It is adapted from a Weight Watchers recipe, but I've opted to use butter and flour to thicken the sauce, rather than cornflour. Butter adds a smidgen of flavour that makes me feel like I'm not depriving myself. I also use my microwave in this recipe - but you can go all *holier than thou* if you choose and soften your veggies in a more traditional manner. This way worked for me.

It was a hugely filling meal and even if I don't stick to Weight Watchers, I will definitely be making it again. It was great straight from the pan, scattered with cheese, and just as nice baked in the oven for a few minutes.

Of course, I saved a few Weight Watchers pro-points for rather a large glass of wine to go with it. Made my brain very happy... if not my bum.

* Cheesy Tuna Quesadillas

I've been making tortilla wraps stuffed with just about anything I have left over in the fridge - that needs eating up - for years. I've only recently started to cook quesadillas as an alternative, and I'm falling in love with them, though I've yet to find a way of stopping the chorizo ones from oozing orangey red oil down the front of whatever top I'm wearing... those ones involve a lot of strategic chin placement and mopping up.

Quesadillas have become an almost permanent lunchtime fixture of late because none of us like shop bought bread, and I keep forgetting to load up the bread maker until I'm hungry and it's too late. This is probably also the reason that I like such hearty soups, because they don't really require bread... there's one on the stove bubbling away right now, and even though I'm writing this and thinking "I must get a loaf in the bread maker in a minute"... it ain't gonna happen.

In another ten minutes -when I've finished updating etc - I have no idea what my brain will be doing. I know it well enough by now, to know that the mere fact that it has considered the possibility of making bread... is going to convince it, that it has, in fact, gone through the entire process of loading up the bread maker with the necessary ingredients and turned it on.

In four hours time it will be completely dumbfounded by the fact that there is still no bread cooking in the bread maker.

This is when it will have a light bulb moment... It will then promise to do better next time... make my feet walk into the kitchen towards the bread maker... spot the washing blowing on the line... get meowed at by Archie because he's decided he wants feeding.... feed the cat... wander back out of the kitchen... then four hours later...

Rinse and repeat.

It's incredibly hard work being me.

* Banana Loaf

It's absolutely chucking it down, again. I know us British have a somewhat obsessive relationship with the weather - as in we all bring it into every conversation at least once (and I'm not exaggerating, not even a little) - but you can hardly blame us when we get all four seasons in one day, on what's becoming a fairly regular basis.

At the moment when the sun shines, we're all too wary of it's fleeting visit, to dig in and enjoy it. Just as we think "Is that really the sun up there?" and "I'm going to get the lawnmower out"... the heavens open and we're faced with yet another deluge of dampness. The entire country is starting to smell like permanently wet washing.

I'm so fed up with getting wet because I have to walk the dog in it, that I thought I might as well get wet voluntarily - so I've been swimming this morning, at the local holiday camp with a friend. I've never been before, even though I've lived in the village for 20 years. I had no idea that the pool was open to the public.

It was heaven.

There was hardly anyone there and the water was so warm it was like a giant cuddle as I got in. No - there hadn't been a million toddlers in there five minutes previously, all having a piddle. 

At least... I don't think there was.

It was raining when we got there. It was raining when we left. It's still raining now... and guess what...

The dog wants to go for a walk. 

She'll have to stick a cork in it. 

I want a slice of this cake.

* Carrot Cake

There are loads of Carrot Cake recipes out there, and I've eaten more than my fair share in my quest to discover my favourite. Currently, it's this one.

My sister-in-law loved this cake the one and only time I made it for a family get together at my brother's...

I'm not good at sharing this cake once I've made it.

Not even with Neil and Josh, who also happen to love it.

Or mum - who is still waiting for a piece to arrive via son-in-law delivery as he passes by her house on the way to work. She's completely out of luck on this occasion.

I've eaten it all.

Yes.

BANG goes the diet... for this week at any rate. I knew it would happen. It's almost as if I had to make the cake just to see. It would have been wonderful if I could have surprised myself with the will power to eat one piece a day (even), but noooooooooooooooo. One piece at a time... totally achievable.

It was easier to stop smoking than it is to stop eating. If I never had to eat again, I reckon I could do it. But the whole "food is fuel" thing knocks that idea straight out of the park.

My tank, it overfloweth.

* Spinach and Chestnut Mushroom Risotto

This risotto recipe was born of the need to use up yet more spinach... there's currently a ban on purchasing spinach, in this house. Seeing as I'm the only one that ever does any actual shopping in this household - it would appear that it's not actually the household that is banned from buying the spinach...

It's me.

I'm banned from buying spinach.

Now if only I knew how to enforce such a ban, it might actually work.

However... I'm fairly sure that the next time I'm in a supermarket (tomorrow), that a bag of spinach will unerringly find it's way into my shopping trolley - with absolutely... no. help. from. me. Really.

I love cooking (mostly) - but I don't love cooking risotto (ever). It's a labour of love. One that I can only donate time to if I have a good book. So I can stir the pot lovingly whilst reading something suitably interesting, but not so interesting that I forget to add more hot stock and the risotto drys to a crisp and has to have a half hearted burial service in the kitchen bin.

Nope.

It's got be a book that holds the attention for three minutes at a time, possibly four.

I've yet to find a book that does this. So I had to lovingly stir this particular risotto whilst singing the track to Adele:21 in my head. Got a bit carried away by the time I'd reached Set Fire To The Rain - and was singing at full blast into the spoon that was supposed to be lovingly stirring the pot...but happily, the noise did not kill our dinner.

Or our appetites.

* Lamb Ragu with Cavatappi

This lamb ragu more or less cooked itself, once I'd got everything in the pot - which gave me free time (which is new- haven't had free time since some time in 1983 - I think), to research ways in which to improve my blog. It's actually becoming a bit of an obsession, and some of the tech that you need to know in the background is above my head... so I may have to ask my baby bruvver to lend a hand - he's very, very clever. Got a smart mouth too, which doesn't help.

I'm occasionally in danger of putting the blog, before the cooking - and it's the cooking that makes me happy. The blog is to be a part of and to share the happy. Not be the happy. That made sense in my head. Really.

Although initially I didn't really enjoy the photographic element of sharing the happy, it is now becoming part of the happy (yes, I'm going to be bolding and underlining every mention of the happy... I just did it again. Because I could.) - which is okay, as long as I don't rely on it (the photograph, just in case you were lost) as anything more than a prop. I'm trying to improve my photography without spending any money that I don't have, because a decent photo is a better way of sharing the happy (hahahahaha) than presenting an image of a meatloaf that resembles a dog turd.

Not many people can see beyond the dog turd.

Anyway, if you pop in here occasionally and discover the blog looking very slightly different now and then, I'm just trying to find a better way of sharing the happy (I'm starting to piss myself off now).

Enjoy the ragu, it's too easy (and tasty of course) not to try at least once.

* Double Chocolate and Almond Loaf

I have tried so very hard NOT to make cake recently. Or cookie, or muffins, or pancakes or anything that I'm not going to able to walk away from with just one helping...

...sooooooo hard.

*sigh*

So... So... Hard... Truly.

*sigh* (again)

I lost this particular battle this afternoon, because I was feeling guilty about the fact that I have been experimenting (in a culinary fashion!!!) on Neil. The poor bugger has put up with concoction after concoction for his dinner, when all he really wants is a plate of mashed potato, a side of meat and a few veg... smothered in onion gravy. Instead, he has been subjected to soups... anything that I can bung a wad of spinach into... and the odd item of vegetarian fare. He's eaten it all, uncomplaining - and has probably enjoyed most of it - but still... I feel guilty (that's my excuse for this cake and I'm sticking to it).

So - I made me - HIM... I made HIM a cake. 

I made Neil a cake... Neil... Cake. Yes.

He's not home from work yet - so I've had to hide it in the cupboard under the stairs so that it doesn't blow kisses at me whenever I pass through the kitchen.

I HAVE NO WILLPOWER.

Maybe I could just lick it a bit?

* Creamy Chicken Gnocchi Soup

No... don't run away. I know it's another soup recipe, but it's a good one. Honest.

Actually, it's better than good. I've had trouble not sticking my head in it.

AND... it's surprisingly Weightwatchers Friendly. Well, it surprised me. I honestly thought when I was adding up the propoints on the recipe widget at Weightwatchers, that it would come in at a HUMUNGOUSLY high amount per portion, and that I'd have to eat air whilst everyone else stuffed their faces...

Not so... Happily. There were cries of "OhThankGod!" and a brief, bell-less Morris Dance around the kitchen, before I got stuck in... then I remembered I wasn't actually supposed to be eating it yet. I had to wait until dinner time. Dammit.

I really wouldn't have eaten it if it was OTT on the points front, because I ate and drank enough to sink a small fleet of ships when I went out to lunch with my girlfriends on Saturday. It was only supposed to be lunch, but we were having such a good time that it ended up being all day and most of the night. We were very... very... merry.

I danced too close to the speakers in the pub, and have been deaf in one ear for two days. My feet hurt. My head aches... I feel twice my age and half as sprightly.

But it was SO worth it!

* Sausage and Red Pepper Chilli

Today is my Weigh Day. I picked a Friday instead of a Monday, because I reckon that I always weigh more on a Monday morning after being unable to use the words "No, thank you." over the weekend. These words seem to disappear from my vocabulary on a Saturday morning, around about the time I discover the bacon and breakfast muffins in the freezer... where I put them the night before.

So, Friday seemed a better choice and more likely to grant me a modicum of success - I lost 1lb this week. Which is better than 4oz, and waaaaaay better than putting weight on, which is what I actually expected. I got on and off the scales three times, just to check. I even opened my eyes on one occasion.

The sun has finally put in a long awaited appearance, so I'm off out for the afternoon to walk the dog and talk myself into not ordering my own body weight in Nachos when I meet my girlfriends for lunch tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

* Sausage Hotpot

It's bitterly cold here again, so I'm still turning to warming, hearty meals rather than salads. Neil appreciates it when he gets home from work, and I'm still feeling guilty about the fact that I'm now only working weekends... so I'm soothing my hubby with his favourite foods and salving my conscience.

Yes. I do have one. I keep it in a box with a very tight fitting lid and only let it out when there's a blue moon.

No. I have not suddenly turned into a sharing, caring, loving, housewifey type - who stands at the door at night waiting for hubby to get home, with his slippers in one hand and his pipe in the other.

I am, in fact, manipulating my man into wanting me to stay home. He has mentioned in the past how much he likes to come home in the Winter to the lights shining through the windows, my music blaring out of every crevice and his dinner cooking on the stove.

If he'd ever actually demanded this... he'd be dead.

Instead, he uncomplainingly gets up and goes to work five or six days a week, at an ungodly hour and returns home when most people are putting their kids to bed for the night. Sometimes even later than that. He never says a word when presented with fried egg sandwiches for his dinner, after he's been slogging his guts out in the cold all day... and when I lose the plot, and my temper flares, he walks around the kitchen with his t-shirt pulled up over the top of his head, waving his arms in the air and pretending I've just bitten his head off.

What's not to love?

I'll tell you.

The man can sulk for Great Britain.

* Cheese and Mustard Scones

I keep hitting my self destruct button on this diet. Yesterday we went to Chiquitos for a late lunch after watching The Hobbit in the cinema, and I thought I'd been really good - even if I had just consumed 170g of galaxy minstrels.... and a bowl of nachos. I don't know why I thought this was okay - maybe because I was still hungry I decided that I couldn't possibly have been too seriously naughty...

There are 24 propoints in 170g of minstrels... 24 propoints... 24 propoints.... THAT'S ALMOST AN ENTIRE DAY'S ALLOWANCE!!! Oh. My. God. I thought maybe 10 or 15... but 24??!!

Who knew?

I certainly didn't.

Now those of you that are somewhat slender and that disappear when standing side on to a lamp post... are probably thinking "How on earth did you manage to eat THAT MANY minstrels??!!?"

The answer?

...one. at. a. time.