* Vegetable Macaroni Cheese Bake {Meatless Mondays}

Just recently I tried the 5:2 fasting diet, where I could eat normally (hah...) for five days and only eat 500 calories for two days... in each week. My brain took it upon itself to totally ignore the word "normally" and proceeded to use my hands to stuff my face with anything that wasn't nailed down and was even vaguely edible... on the five days, and then it cried itself to sleep on the two days.

My bum and my brain are in cahoots, apparently they both want to be bigger and one is aiding the other. This is not a good thing.

So... having grounded my brain and forbidden it to associate with my bum... I've joined Weight Watchers... again. Fourth time might be the charm... might. I've already lost 5.5lbs in one week, but this could just be the whole "This is new and we're making an effort this week" thing that I do. I know I do this. It's a personality defect that I have grown to accept, if not love.

This Vegetable and Macaroni Cheese Bake is one of my better efforts at cutting out the cr@p and adding in loads of veggies. It is adapted from a Weight Watchers recipe, but I've opted to use butter and flour to thicken the sauce, rather than cornflour. Butter adds a smidgen of flavour that makes me feel like I'm not depriving myself. I also use my microwave in this recipe - but you can go all *holier than thou* if you choose and soften your veggies in a more traditional manner. This way worked for me.

It was a hugely filling meal and even if I don't stick to Weight Watchers, I will definitely be making it again. It was great straight from the pan, scattered with cheese, and just as nice baked in the oven for a few minutes.

Of course, I saved a few Weight Watchers pro-points for rather a large glass of wine to go with it. Made my brain very happy... if not my bum.

* Chicken Biryani

Guess what I did???!!!

I MADE A FACEBOOK PAGE!!! I did, I did, I did.

I've held off on doing it for quite some time, because I didn't want to share what I've been up to in my spare time with everyone that actually knows me ( a few people knew because I can't keep my mouth shut and because my darling mummy can't keep hers shut either). I wasn't sure what their reaction would be, and it really mattered. Plus I'm a little bit vain and I wanted to tidy up the furniture a bit before inviting everyone in for a cuppa and a slice of cake... or three.

Even after I'd created the page I wasn't sure if I was going to invite my mates to *like* it. But I accidentally posted one of my recipes on my personal page. I was immediately messaged on my mobile phone by Charlene (who I love because she takes no prisoners), saying that she loved my blog. Have to confess that I panicked slightly and thought "OhMyGodI'mNotReadyYet!!!!", but she just kept on saying nice things... mainly recipe titles with drooling words and demands that I get in the kitchen and cook something now.

Everyone needs a Charlene.

Her reaction convinced me to just go for it and invite them all (and all of you) into my little corner of the food blogging world.

I'm so glad I did. They were amazing, and funny and kind and supportive and I'm feeling a little bit lucky right about now.

Right. Enough about them. Lets talk about me. There's a facebook widget in the top right corner of the page. If you want to click *like* you'd make my day. I promise not to plague your facebook pages with random poop that is completely unrelated to what I do in my kitchen.

There is actually a recipe in here somewhere for Chicken Biryani. It's dead easy and dead quick and dead tasty. Just click the linky below to find out :)

* Chorizo and Chestnut Mushroom Carbonara

Yes - it IS another Chorizo recipe. I'm sorry, they're kinda screaming to get out of their folder due to overcrowding issues. So though I said I'd try to space them out... I did also say that I "wouldn't promise nuffink"... because I  LOVE IT.

You nearly got a soup recipe, but when I had a really good look at the photographs - it looked a bit like cat sick. So... no soup today. Especially as I would really like you to come back and thought I may have been pushing my luck with Monday's Meat Brownie... *cue exaggerated wink*. 

No. I'm not having a stroke. Thankyou.

This recipe was not born of the need to use up the Chorizo - however, there was a small, half used tub of low fat crème fraîche that was feeling rather sorry for itself at the back of the fridge, and I had an urge for some sort of creamy pasta. I also had an egg. Just the one.

It quite genuinely took 15 minutes from start to finish (after the kettle had boiled) to cook this. I even managed to make a quich Hassleback Stylie garlic bread from a Ciabatta Roll that decided to get in on the "use me now or lose me forever" action.

It was that scrumptious that I could have happily eaten both bowls.

I didn't though.

Really.

* Turkey, Leek and Onion Meatloaf

Okay... so... it's not a traditional meatloaf. It's more of a meat... ummmm... bake? Cake? Big flat patty? Hah... it's a meat brownie. Sort of. Maybe. Let's just stick with calling it a meatloaf - it makes my life easier and this recipe a damn sight easier to sell. No one is going to click on a Meat Brownie recipe for anything other than the "Eeeeewwww" value.

It is a meatloaf - it's just happens to be having an identity crisis.

I love using turkey mince as an alternative to beef or pork, but I can't always manage to get hold of it. So when I do come across it - I panic buy. Actually, I panic buy a lot of food because it's rare that I can find what I'm looking for in the village shops (that's if I can find somewhere to park), and if I do find it I'm not willing to pay the hiked up price they ask for it.

A visit to a large supermarket is always a dangerous thing for me. I have the most wonderful intentions of buying only what is currently missing from my cupboards - like dog food, maybe some cheese and a pack of bacon... it all goes swimmingly to begin with. Then I get about a third of the way round and think "Wow, I'm doing really well today!" and whilst I'm patting myself on the back with one hand - the other hand is performing a smash and grab. It thinks that as we've been so good thus far, it's now a free for all.

The end result is a trolley that is overflowing, a cashier who can't quite believe that I've managed to strategically squeeze so much into it and is checking it for Tardis like qualities... and a bill that puts my eyebrows four foot above their usual location.

I really shouldn't be allowed out on my own.

* Chicken, Chorizo and Borlotti Bean Stew

Yes, it's yet another recipe with beans in it - this time they're purple ones. Sort of. I can promise you that it's not the beans recipes that you're going to get sick of though -it's the chorizo ones. I bought a *job lot* because I LOVE IT and have had to use it up whilst it's still fresh. Which I don't mind at all, because I LOVE IT but you might not. So... I'll try to be kind and space them out a little, but I'm promising nuffink... because... well... I LOVE IT.

Apparently, I also love a lot of other food. Weight watchers has not been going well for at least the past 4 weeks - I haven't tracked my food intake, even though I have tracked the points for 99% of my recipes. My weight remained the same for 4 weeks - which is better than going up, but not as good as going down. Which disappointed my brain no end.

I think me and my brain need to have a conversation about what constitutes a miracle. It has much higher expectations of weight loss, than I do. It also has a nasty habit of making me keep my eyes shut when I get on the scales on a Friday morning. How on earth am I supposed to see how much I weigh, through my eyelids??!!??

Imagine our surprise (yes, I am referring to myself with a plural...) when I managed to prise my eyes open this morning, and we discovered we had lost 2lbs. My brain had a little party that involved streamers, popping noises and an imaginary kazoo... and I got straight on the phone to ask my mate if she'd like to go swimming again... at which point my brain caught up, stopped blowing on it's imaginary kazoo and put on it's swimsuit.

A frilly pink one with yellow spots.

I can't take her anywhere.

* Bolognese Sauce

I have several Bolognese Sauce recipes, it all depends on the ingredients I have available at the time. Today I had everything I needed for this one.

When were kids, my mum's bolognese had mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and bay leaf in it. But no bacon or other vegetables. It was her standby meal for when she had a houseful of teenagers to feed... she always had a houseful of teenagers to feed. She'd finish work at 5pm and phone me to find out how many we needed to cook for, anything more than four and it was bolognese.

When I was nineteen, I started to take over a lot of the cooking for the family, because I had... ummmm... unwittingly.... added another family member. Nope. Didn't marry anyone (that would have been too easy). I had a baby. So... I did my bit to help out.

It was also around about that time, when my brother brought his first serious girlfriend home. So our somewhat chaotic household that had already got a gazillion teenagers camping out in the living room on a daily basis... suddenly added two more.

We ate A LOT of minced beef during our teen years. I think  that mum and dad considered building an extension to get away from us all, at one point. It didn't happen though, because although it must have been hard work, they were the reason that all of our friends felt so welcome, all of the time.

That and my mum's bolognese, obviously.

* Cheesy Tuna Quesadillas

I've been making tortilla wraps stuffed with just about anything I have left over in the fridge - that needs eating up - for years. I've only recently started to cook quesadillas as an alternative, and I'm falling in love with them, though I've yet to find a way of stopping the chorizo ones from oozing orangey red oil down the front of whatever top I'm wearing... those ones involve a lot of strategic chin placement and mopping up.

Quesadillas have become an almost permanent lunchtime fixture of late because none of us like shop bought bread, and I keep forgetting to load up the bread maker until I'm hungry and it's too late. This is probably also the reason that I like such hearty soups, because they don't really require bread... there's one on the stove bubbling away right now, and even though I'm writing this and thinking "I must get a loaf in the bread maker in a minute"... it ain't gonna happen.

In another ten minutes -when I've finished updating etc - I have no idea what my brain will be doing. I know it well enough by now, to know that the mere fact that it has considered the possibility of making bread... is going to convince it, that it has, in fact, gone through the entire process of loading up the bread maker with the necessary ingredients and turned it on.

In four hours time it will be completely dumbfounded by the fact that there is still no bread cooking in the bread maker.

This is when it will have a light bulb moment... It will then promise to do better next time... make my feet walk into the kitchen towards the bread maker... spot the washing blowing on the line... get meowed at by Archie because he's decided he wants feeding.... feed the cat... wander back out of the kitchen... then four hours later...

Rinse and repeat.

It's incredibly hard work being me.

* Creamy Bacon, Mushroom and Tomato Tagliatelle

I've been attempting to stick to some sort of routine as far as updating is concerned, and I think I managed a week before it all went tits up! I was aiming for Monday, Wednesday and Friday - but for whatever reason I can't schedule a post for a certain time, so have to do it all *hands on*... I know. I can get it fixed. Just haven't got that far yet. Life has this godawful habit of getting in the way...

...aaaaaaaand I have a brain that flushes stuff out once it gets full. So I forget stuff. Never important stuff. Just... *stuff what I might need at some point in the future* - like (for instance) the ingredients that I used for this particular recipe. I've just had a mild panic attack whilst staring at the photographs and thinking "OhMyGodHowDidIMakeThis??!!??"

Not only did I forget all of the ingredients... I also forgot that I knew that I would forget all of the ingredients. Read it again. It makes complete sense.

So guess what I did?  Guess. Go on.

Apparently I rescued myself!!! I've just wandered in here to make a new post, debating (rather fervently) whether or not to blag it or cook the flamin' thing again, only to discover that in amongst the posts was a post titled "Creamy Bacon, Mushroom and Tomato Tagliatelle" in draft form.

I HAD ALREADY WRITTEN THE RECIPE OUT!!! Hah. Go me. With big brass shiny knobs on.

You know what this means don't you?

I am officially an adult.

I've stuck little gold stars all over my face, as proof.

* Chilli Con Carne

I think everyone must have a favourite version of Chilli Con Carne. This is mine. It's based on a Jamie Oliver recipe from Happy Days with The Naked Chef and I'll confess that before cooking it Jamie's way, I had no clue how to make a chilli taste good. I could make a chilli. I just couldn't make one that I wanted to eat more than once.

The recipe called for two 400g cans of kidney beans, and I honestly thought "Whoa there cowboy!" I didn't even like kidney beans in the singular, let alone two whole plurals of them. Still, it's what the recipe said, so it's what I did.... that was many moons ago now, and the very beginning of my addiction to all things *pulses*. If I can stick a plural of beans into anything - I stick a plural of beans into everything.

You may have noticed this.

I fart A LOT. Which is fun if you are me, but not so much if you're with me. Or so I'm told.

There's no chocolate or coffee or horsemeat in this chilli - just good spices, the usual ingredients, BEANS... and love.

Yes.

There is love in my chilli.

It's how I roll.

* Somerset Stew with Cheddar and Chive Mash

I bought a 500ml bottle of cider a few weeks back, intending to use it to make this stew - then put it in the drinks cupboard (yes, we have one of those) and completely forgot about it until I was searching for the sherry. So I finally got round to making it yesterday.

When Neil saw the open bottle sitting in the fridge he had a slight panic attack and asked if I'd used one of his Christmas presents. Apparently he was given a bottle of cider with a glass, and he thought I'd purloined it for his dinner. Quite frankly, if I'd remembered he'd got it, I wouldn't have bought the other bottle - but that's between you, me and the gatepost.

It really was incredibly easy to make, and very tasty - I added a couple of sausages to Neil's plate, he's pretty much like a lot of meat eating men, and doesn't believe that vegetables alone constitute a decent meal. I don't mind vegetarian fare at all, in fact, a lot of the time it's more interesting to cook and to eat.

I did try to become vegetarian when I was a teenager ( looooooooooooooooong time ago), and there really wasn't much on offer. My mum did most of the cooking and she wasn't exactly adventurous - vegetarian sausages came in a packet mix that you added water to, and shaped into sausages. The same with burgers.... As a teenager, I wasn't much interested in making an effort for myself as far as my diet was concerned. Bless her heart, she tried so hard find vegetarian alternatives for me... I finally let her off the hook when I confessed that I'd been stopping at a greasy burger van on the way home from work every night, (for weeks) and stuffing my face with a beef quarter pounder with cheese..

I think she threw a cauliflower at me. SEE???... completely unadventurous vegetable to be lobbing at a teen.

If it had been me, I'd have thrown a Butternut Squash.

* Butternut Squash and Tomato Soup

This soup was absolutely scrumptious, and so easy to make that I almost feel guilty for calling it a recipe. But it has a list of ingredients and some instructions, so a recipe is what it is.

I'm a huge fan of soup - obviously - but not a huge fan of smooth or pureed soups. Hubby is, however. So this one was for him - at least - that's what I told him. But I tell him a lot of crap that isn't true, so lets not pick on this one thing...

I tell him the standard "No, this isn't new - it's been in the back of the wardrobe for AGES" and "I got this for half price, honest". I also say things like "Look what mum bought me", "No, I didn't go out for lunch today", "I've been REALLY busy ALL day", "I've only had one glass of wine, dahlink *hic* ", and my all time favourite "No, it's NOT a risotto, it's a rice casserole."

Apparently, he knows when I'm lying because I open my mouth. He knows full well when I'm telling him pork pies, he just decides to play along. His favourite quote...

Happy Wife. Happy Life.

Works for me :)

NOTE: You'll probably notice - if you're a frequent visitor - that some of my recipes are starting to appear without the usual *tute style* photographs within them. This is because there are times when they are either a tad pointless, or because I just wanted to enjoy cooking something without arsing about every couple of minutes.

If you have an opinion on this... you want them all the time, don't want them at all... or couldn't give a flying fig... please feel free to comment and let me know :) 

I promise to be nice.

* Carrot Cake

There are loads of Carrot Cake recipes out there, and I've eaten more than my fair share in my quest to discover my favourite. Currently, it's this one.

My sister-in-law loved this cake the one and only time I made it for a family get together at my brother's...

I'm not good at sharing this cake once I've made it.

Not even with Neil and Josh, who also happen to love it.

Or mum - who is still waiting for a piece to arrive via son-in-law delivery as he passes by her house on the way to work. She's completely out of luck on this occasion.

I've eaten it all.

Yes.

BANG goes the diet... for this week at any rate. I knew it would happen. It's almost as if I had to make the cake just to see. It would have been wonderful if I could have surprised myself with the will power to eat one piece a day (even), but noooooooooooooooo. One piece at a time... totally achievable.

It was easier to stop smoking than it is to stop eating. If I never had to eat again, I reckon I could do it. But the whole "food is fuel" thing knocks that idea straight out of the park.

My tank, it overfloweth.

* Spinach and Chestnut Mushroom Risotto

This risotto recipe was born of the need to use up yet more spinach... there's currently a ban on purchasing spinach, in this house. Seeing as I'm the only one that ever does any actual shopping in this household - it would appear that it's not actually the household that is banned from buying the spinach...

It's me.

I'm banned from buying spinach.

Now if only I knew how to enforce such a ban, it might actually work.

However... I'm fairly sure that the next time I'm in a supermarket (tomorrow), that a bag of spinach will unerringly find it's way into my shopping trolley - with absolutely... no. help. from. me. Really.

I love cooking (mostly) - but I don't love cooking risotto (ever). It's a labour of love. One that I can only donate time to if I have a good book. So I can stir the pot lovingly whilst reading something suitably interesting, but not so interesting that I forget to add more hot stock and the risotto drys to a crisp and has to have a half hearted burial service in the kitchen bin.

Nope.

It's got be a book that holds the attention for three minutes at a time, possibly four.

I've yet to find a book that does this. So I had to lovingly stir this particular risotto whilst singing the track to Adele:21 in my head. Got a bit carried away by the time I'd reached Set Fire To The Rain - and was singing at full blast into the spoon that was supposed to be lovingly stirring the pot...but happily, the noise did not kill our dinner.

Or our appetites.

* Chicken, Tomato and Pasta Soup

This Chicken, Tomato and Pasta Soup has been a life saver over the weekend... I shall explain...

We had a girly night in, at a friends house on Saturday night... there was MUCH wine, MUCH Chilli, MUCH chips and dips and MUCH competitive dancing on the Wii. I won every time I danced, because I know how to shake my thang. Really. I do.

What I don't know - is how to turn down another glass of wine. The words "No" and "Thankyou" disappear completely from my vocabulary, about halfway down the first glass. Which is when other words suddenly take a leading role. Mostly swear words. My sentences are peppered with blue language when sober, they are positively drenched when I'm not. Which is NOT FUN when in polite company, but seeing as I wasn't (in polite company), it was fine. If slightly blethering idiot.

Still. I won the dance off.

It was worth the hangover.

Which brings me back to the soup...(niiiiiice segway, Abs *pats self on back*)... I knew - with absolute clarity on Friday - that I would not want to do more than veg out, on Sunday - so I made this soup.

It was sustenance.

It was delicious.

I am SMRT.

* Lamb Ragu with Cavatappi

This lamb ragu more or less cooked itself, once I'd got everything in the pot - which gave me free time (which is new- haven't had free time since some time in 1983 - I think), to research ways in which to improve my blog. It's actually becoming a bit of an obsession, and some of the tech that you need to know in the background is above my head... so I may have to ask my baby bruvver to lend a hand - he's very, very clever. Got a smart mouth too, which doesn't help.

I'm occasionally in danger of putting the blog, before the cooking - and it's the cooking that makes me happy. The blog is to be a part of and to share the happy. Not be the happy. That made sense in my head. Really.

Although initially I didn't really enjoy the photographic element of sharing the happy, it is now becoming part of the happy (yes, I'm going to be bolding and underlining every mention of the happy... I just did it again. Because I could.) - which is okay, as long as I don't rely on it (the photograph, just in case you were lost) as anything more than a prop. I'm trying to improve my photography without spending any money that I don't have, because a decent photo is a better way of sharing the happy (hahahahaha) than presenting an image of a meatloaf that resembles a dog turd.

Not many people can see beyond the dog turd.

Anyway, if you pop in here occasionally and discover the blog looking very slightly different now and then, I'm just trying to find a better way of sharing the happy (I'm starting to piss myself off now).

Enjoy the ragu, it's too easy (and tasty of course) not to try at least once.

* Double Chocolate and Almond Loaf

I have tried so very hard NOT to make cake recently. Or cookie, or muffins, or pancakes or anything that I'm not going to able to walk away from with just one helping...

...sooooooo hard.

*sigh*

So... So... Hard... Truly.

*sigh* (again)

I lost this particular battle this afternoon, because I was feeling guilty about the fact that I have been experimenting (in a culinary fashion!!!) on Neil. The poor bugger has put up with concoction after concoction for his dinner, when all he really wants is a plate of mashed potato, a side of meat and a few veg... smothered in onion gravy. Instead, he has been subjected to soups... anything that I can bung a wad of spinach into... and the odd item of vegetarian fare. He's eaten it all, uncomplaining - and has probably enjoyed most of it - but still... I feel guilty (that's my excuse for this cake and I'm sticking to it).

So - I made me - HIM... I made HIM a cake. 

I made Neil a cake... Neil... Cake. Yes.

He's not home from work yet - so I've had to hide it in the cupboard under the stairs so that it doesn't blow kisses at me whenever I pass through the kitchen.

I HAVE NO WILLPOWER.

Maybe I could just lick it a bit?

* Sweet Potato and Spinach Gratin

It didn't matter what I did with this gratin, it would NOT take a decent photograph, and I'm not photographically skilled enough to make it look awesome. Which it was. Totally. So please don't let it's somewhat Seventies demeanour, put you off.

It was lush.

It was also incredibly easy to wack together whilst I took a lunch break from spring cleaning my lounge. Yes. I said "spring cleaning my lounge". Yes. I have hit my head. Bashed it on the breakfast bar yesterday when I was fishing around underneath it, for Neil's slippers. Stood up before I had cleared the bottom of the thing and 24 hours later I find myself covered from head to toe in dust bunnies, sporting this seasons "Mop and Bucket Look". Tres chic.

The dog spent the entire day crashed out on my bed, for fear of getting roped into helping. That and the fact that at seventy seven human years old, she couldn't take all the whirling dervish that was going on, so I took pity on her and treated her to a trip Upstairs. Upstairs is somewhere that she's not usually allowed access to, unless mummy is staying out for the night - in which case, daddy sneaks her Upstairs at bed time so that they can snuggle... without mummy knowing...

... that is, until she discovers the dog hairs all over the bed (Eeeeewww), and the chew toy wedged under her pillow (Double Eeeeewwww!!!).

Obviously, it's okay when I let her up there. I'm in charge.

* Creamy Chicken Gnocchi Soup

No... don't run away. I know it's another soup recipe, but it's a good one. Honest.

Actually, it's better than good. I've had trouble not sticking my head in it.

AND... it's surprisingly Weightwatchers Friendly. Well, it surprised me. I honestly thought when I was adding up the propoints on the recipe widget at Weightwatchers, that it would come in at a HUMUNGOUSLY high amount per portion, and that I'd have to eat air whilst everyone else stuffed their faces...

Not so... Happily. There were cries of "OhThankGod!" and a brief, bell-less Morris Dance around the kitchen, before I got stuck in... then I remembered I wasn't actually supposed to be eating it yet. I had to wait until dinner time. Dammit.

I really wouldn't have eaten it if it was OTT on the points front, because I ate and drank enough to sink a small fleet of ships when I went out to lunch with my girlfriends on Saturday. It was only supposed to be lunch, but we were having such a good time that it ended up being all day and most of the night. We were very... very... merry.

I danced too close to the speakers in the pub, and have been deaf in one ear for two days. My feet hurt. My head aches... I feel twice my age and half as sprightly.

But it was SO worth it!

* Sausage and Red Pepper Chilli

Today is my Weigh Day. I picked a Friday instead of a Monday, because I reckon that I always weigh more on a Monday morning after being unable to use the words "No, thank you." over the weekend. These words seem to disappear from my vocabulary on a Saturday morning, around about the time I discover the bacon and breakfast muffins in the freezer... where I put them the night before.

So, Friday seemed a better choice and more likely to grant me a modicum of success - I lost 1lb this week. Which is better than 4oz, and waaaaaay better than putting weight on, which is what I actually expected. I got on and off the scales three times, just to check. I even opened my eyes on one occasion.

The sun has finally put in a long awaited appearance, so I'm off out for the afternoon to walk the dog and talk myself into not ordering my own body weight in Nachos when I meet my girlfriends for lunch tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

* Cheese and Spinach Penne with Walnut Crumble

I don't know about you, but my favourite recipes are ones that tend to use up whatever I've got lying around the kitchen. It's great to go out and buy ingredients for a specific recipe, but for me it's much more satisfying to come up with a way of using up the remnants of the fridge.

I absolutely HATE food waste.

Don't get me wrong, I've not undergone a personality transplant and suddenly become "Mrs Organised" (that's my mum) - I do end up chucking out the odd piece of long forgotten blue cheese... that started out life as a just an ordinary piece of cheddar but has managed to wedge itself in the back of the fridge underneath a punnet of chestnut mushrooms and has decided that it's cold and somewhat lonely and would very much like a fur coat, please. A blue one.

An almost permanent victim of my lack of organised eating/cooking, is beansprouts. They're not expensive - about 60p for a bag of 200g (possibly more)... not really the point, I know... I can never ever find a use for 200g of beansprouts. I stick half in a stir fry one day then spend the following two days avoiding eye contact with the other half, until they turn brown and I have no choice but to throw them away. I have a major brain fart when it comes to this food stuff. What does anyone do with a plethora of beansprouts? Seriously, I'd love to know.

The one thing I can't bare to put in the bin, is spinach. I love the stuff, which makes it slightly easier to find ways of using it up. Mostly I just bung it into whatever I'm cooking.

Genius.

I know.