* Turkey, Leek and Onion Meatloaf

Okay... so... it's not a traditional meatloaf. It's more of a meat... ummmm... bake? Cake? Big flat patty? Hah... it's a meat brownie. Sort of. Maybe. Let's just stick with calling it a meatloaf - it makes my life easier and this recipe a damn sight easier to sell. No one is going to click on a Meat Brownie recipe for anything other than the "Eeeeewwww" value.

It is a meatloaf - it's just happens to be having an identity crisis.

I love using turkey mince as an alternative to beef or pork, but I can't always manage to get hold of it. So when I do come across it - I panic buy. Actually, I panic buy a lot of food because it's rare that I can find what I'm looking for in the village shops (that's if I can find somewhere to park), and if I do find it I'm not willing to pay the hiked up price they ask for it.

A visit to a large supermarket is always a dangerous thing for me. I have the most wonderful intentions of buying only what is currently missing from my cupboards - like dog food, maybe some cheese and a pack of bacon... it all goes swimmingly to begin with. Then I get about a third of the way round and think "Wow, I'm doing really well today!" and whilst I'm patting myself on the back with one hand - the other hand is performing a smash and grab. It thinks that as we've been so good thus far, it's now a free for all.

The end result is a trolley that is overflowing, a cashier who can't quite believe that I've managed to strategically squeeze so much into it and is checking it for Tardis like qualities... and a bill that puts my eyebrows four foot above their usual location.

I really shouldn't be allowed out on my own.

* Bolognese Sauce

I have several Bolognese Sauce recipes, it all depends on the ingredients I have available at the time. Today I had everything I needed for this one.

When were kids, my mum's bolognese had mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and bay leaf in it. But no bacon or other vegetables. It was her standby meal for when she had a houseful of teenagers to feed... she always had a houseful of teenagers to feed. She'd finish work at 5pm and phone me to find out how many we needed to cook for, anything more than four and it was bolognese.

When I was nineteen, I started to take over a lot of the cooking for the family, because I had... ummmm... unwittingly.... added another family member. Nope. Didn't marry anyone (that would have been too easy). I had a baby. So... I did my bit to help out.

It was also around about that time, when my brother brought his first serious girlfriend home. So our somewhat chaotic household that had already got a gazillion teenagers camping out in the living room on a daily basis... suddenly added two more.

We ate A LOT of minced beef during our teen years. I think  that mum and dad considered building an extension to get away from us all, at one point. It didn't happen though, because although it must have been hard work, they were the reason that all of our friends felt so welcome, all of the time.

That and my mum's bolognese, obviously.

* Chilli Con Carne

I think everyone must have a favourite version of Chilli Con Carne. This is mine. It's based on a Jamie Oliver recipe from Happy Days with The Naked Chef and I'll confess that before cooking it Jamie's way, I had no clue how to make a chilli taste good. I could make a chilli. I just couldn't make one that I wanted to eat more than once.

The recipe called for two 400g cans of kidney beans, and I honestly thought "Whoa there cowboy!" I didn't even like kidney beans in the singular, let alone two whole plurals of them. Still, it's what the recipe said, so it's what I did.... that was many moons ago now, and the very beginning of my addiction to all things *pulses*. If I can stick a plural of beans into anything - I stick a plural of beans into everything.

You may have noticed this.

I fart A LOT. Which is fun if you are me, but not so much if you're with me. Or so I'm told.

There's no chocolate or coffee or horsemeat in this chilli - just good spices, the usual ingredients, BEANS... and love.

Yes.

There is love in my chilli.

It's how I roll.

* Somerset Stew with Cheddar and Chive Mash

I bought a 500ml bottle of cider a few weeks back, intending to use it to make this stew - then put it in the drinks cupboard (yes, we have one of those) and completely forgot about it until I was searching for the sherry. So I finally got round to making it yesterday.

When Neil saw the open bottle sitting in the fridge he had a slight panic attack and asked if I'd used one of his Christmas presents. Apparently he was given a bottle of cider with a glass, and he thought I'd purloined it for his dinner. Quite frankly, if I'd remembered he'd got it, I wouldn't have bought the other bottle - but that's between you, me and the gatepost.

It really was incredibly easy to make, and very tasty - I added a couple of sausages to Neil's plate, he's pretty much like a lot of meat eating men, and doesn't believe that vegetables alone constitute a decent meal. I don't mind vegetarian fare at all, in fact, a lot of the time it's more interesting to cook and to eat.

I did try to become vegetarian when I was a teenager ( looooooooooooooooong time ago), and there really wasn't much on offer. My mum did most of the cooking and she wasn't exactly adventurous - vegetarian sausages came in a packet mix that you added water to, and shaped into sausages. The same with burgers.... As a teenager, I wasn't much interested in making an effort for myself as far as my diet was concerned. Bless her heart, she tried so hard find vegetarian alternatives for me... I finally let her off the hook when I confessed that I'd been stopping at a greasy burger van on the way home from work every night, (for weeks) and stuffing my face with a beef quarter pounder with cheese..

I think she threw a cauliflower at me. SEE???... completely unadventurous vegetable to be lobbing at a teen.

If it had been me, I'd have thrown a Butternut Squash.

* Butternut Squash and Tomato Soup

This soup was absolutely scrumptious, and so easy to make that I almost feel guilty for calling it a recipe. But it has a list of ingredients and some instructions, so a recipe is what it is.

I'm a huge fan of soup - obviously - but not a huge fan of smooth or pureed soups. Hubby is, however. So this one was for him - at least - that's what I told him. But I tell him a lot of crap that isn't true, so lets not pick on this one thing...

I tell him the standard "No, this isn't new - it's been in the back of the wardrobe for AGES" and "I got this for half price, honest". I also say things like "Look what mum bought me", "No, I didn't go out for lunch today", "I've been REALLY busy ALL day", "I've only had one glass of wine, dahlink *hic* ", and my all time favourite "No, it's NOT a risotto, it's a rice casserole."

Apparently, he knows when I'm lying because I open my mouth. He knows full well when I'm telling him pork pies, he just decides to play along. His favourite quote...

Happy Wife. Happy Life.

Works for me :)

NOTE: You'll probably notice - if you're a frequent visitor - that some of my recipes are starting to appear without the usual *tute style* photographs within them. This is because there are times when they are either a tad pointless, or because I just wanted to enjoy cooking something without arsing about every couple of minutes.

If you have an opinion on this... you want them all the time, don't want them at all... or couldn't give a flying fig... please feel free to comment and let me know :) 

I promise to be nice.

* Chicken, Tomato and Pasta Soup

This Chicken, Tomato and Pasta Soup has been a life saver over the weekend... I shall explain...

We had a girly night in, at a friends house on Saturday night... there was MUCH wine, MUCH Chilli, MUCH chips and dips and MUCH competitive dancing on the Wii. I won every time I danced, because I know how to shake my thang. Really. I do.

What I don't know - is how to turn down another glass of wine. The words "No" and "Thankyou" disappear completely from my vocabulary, about halfway down the first glass. Which is when other words suddenly take a leading role. Mostly swear words. My sentences are peppered with blue language when sober, they are positively drenched when I'm not. Which is NOT FUN when in polite company, but seeing as I wasn't (in polite company), it was fine. If slightly blethering idiot.

Still. I won the dance off.

It was worth the hangover.

Which brings me back to the soup...(niiiiiice segway, Abs *pats self on back*)... I knew - with absolute clarity on Friday - that I would not want to do more than veg out, on Sunday - so I made this soup.

It was sustenance.

It was delicious.

I am SMRT.

* Creamy Paprika Pork

I've chosen to remove (temporarily) one of my recipes because it has become an almost permanent victim of *that meat that comes in a tin* - I'm not saying it out loud in case this post attracts the same - and it's absolutely doing my head in. I've reverted it to draft form, and have no idea when I publish it again, whether it will slot back into my blog in it's original place, or show up as a new entry. So if you spot one of my bread recipes is missing, this is why.

I have also been debating (quite seriously) the pros and cons of having a *followers* gadget in the right hand column on this blog for some time - since I started it up, in fact. On the one hand, it's an easy way for anyone that likes what they find, to find their way back when there are new posts... and on the other hand it tends to look like a measure of one's popularity, but only if one is striving to be popular.

One has never striven to be popular.

One's two friends could attest to that.

So.... The follower gadget... I did it.

Theeeeennn I undid it.

It lasted about a day, maybe two. It made me distinctly uncomfortable and I honestly couldn't tell you why. The only thing I can compare it too (and it's random) is the difficulty I face when purchasing birthday cards for a loved one... although I completely empathise with the flowery, sentimental words written within some of those cards, and they convey exactly how I feel about the person I'm buying the card for... I'D RATHER SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT than buy one.

I nearly always purchase a card that has no words and could mean absolutely anything, and I write the words myself "Happy Birthday" - that's it. Simple but effective. "Happy Birthday". That's all you get... and maybe a *much love*  - if I love you...

...or a *from* - if I don't love you and have only bought the card out of some misguided sense of duty. Let's face it - if it's just got *from* on it, I don't even like you and my mum made me do it.

I did say it was random.

Can you even imagine the absolute agony I go through at Valentine's?? How to convey to my husband that I love him very much, without actually buying a card that says that??!!??

Did I mention that I'm slightly unhinged?

Did I need to?

* Leek and Potato Soup

Unbelievably, even after Minstrelgate last Sunday... I have lost 3.5lbs this week.... that's 8.5lbs total in 3 weeks.

...I'll be right back...

Gets up and flings self round room "Birthday Dance Stylie"

Hold on. 

I'm still flinging....

Done.

That's got to have earned me some activity points... and perhaps a glass of wine (or three)... and maybe a piece of chocolate cake. A very small piece.

No. This is not a huge lead up to a recipe for a chocolate cake of any description. This is a recipe for soup... did someone just gasp in shock?!? I KNOW... more soup. I like soup. If you've read any of my previous entries you already know this. Soup is my *go to* food. No matter whether I am trying to lose weight, eat healthy or just stuff my face - soup has a firm hold on my heart, and my stomach... and sometimes my chin.

This is yet another family favourite, Neil's in particular, and is lovely sopped up with Cheese and Mustard Scones or a chunk of Courgette and Cheddar Loaf.

Yes. I am shamelessly plugging my own food.

One day... I will rule the world.

* Chicken and Three Pepper Goulash

I'm sticking with the Weight Watchers Propoints Diet for the time being, because it's actually starting to work. I am losing a little bit of weight, but I'm also interested in what I eat again, and I haven't been since we got back from Egypt at the end of last year.

I don't think that last week's bottle of wine, or the three course meal at Chiquitos on Wednesday - have you had their Nachos For One? AWESOME! - helped. No. Really. I lost 4 oz in weight last week - about the size of a big poo. Maybe. I haven't weighed mine. I'm guessing.

Anyhoo - thought I better kick my porky lard arse back into gear and work on creating some healthy meals that would make up for the fact that I AM GOING BACK TO CHIQUITOS TOMORROW!

Did I say that out loud?

It's our last chance to go and see The Hobbit, at the cinema. Chiquitos is right next door. I couldn't possibly come home without sticking my head in the door to lick a plate or two.

That would be rude.

Next week, I will mostly be eating air.

* Mixed Bean and Barley Soup

I thought that giving up the job that I hated, would give me the time to get my home in order and perhaps give my brain a little TLC and a rest from the rigours of putting up with other peoples crap. I thought I'd be luxuriating in the happiness of being able to do what I want, when I want...

No alarm clock to get up to. No speed walk around the lake with the dog's eyeballs popping out of her head because I'm running late yet again and she's too old to keep up, even on her leash. No "He said, She said" upon arrival at work. No eternal clock watching until home time. No too tired to do anything but crash on the sofa and use the dog as a blankie when I finally make it home. No fish finger sandwiches for dinner because I. just. can't. be. arsed...

I am reaping the benefits of all of the above... but OHMYGODI'MBORED!!!!! I'm now only working at the weekend (at a job I love) and I have NO IDEA what to do with myself during the day. Do I do housework? Decorating? Visit friends? Do I join the gym (yeah right)? Do I take the dog for incredibly long walks in the rain??? Do I cook? Do I read? Watch TV? Rent a film? Go shopping?

What do I do?

... I eat.

I gotta get me another job.... and something with an elasticated waist.

* Chicken Chasseur

Oh My God I have put on soooo much weight over Christmas and the new year, that I have succumbed and signed up to Weight Watchers Online... so if it gets all healthy around here for a bit, you'll know why. I'm going to be a good girl... until I quit WW  because I've fallen into a vat of chocolate jazzies and have entered a sugar coma of "Screw The World" and diets in general.

It'll happen. It always does.

I've already given in to a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc that screamed at me when I went to mum's for a roast dinner today...

I was doing so well...

"No peas for me, thankyou mum, they use up my points and I don't really like them"..."No, I'll just have one iddy biddy roast potato please, thankyou"... "Can you take that piece of parsnip off my plate and oh for f*cks sake pass me that bottle of f*cking wine before I lose the plot completely and start say *Amen* at the end of every sentence!!!"

I did it for my family... I was much nicer after the wine. And during. It's all in the perspective... the Lemon and Mascarpone Roulade helped too.

With cream.