* Hot Smoked Salmon Kedgeree Stir Fry

I LOVE Hot Smoked Salmon. I have a hard time not eating it straight out of the fridge, with only my fingers for garnish. You can't disguise the fact that you've just raided the fridge and helped yourself to a rather large flake of the stuff, because it's quite strong smelling in it's smokiness. So I leave the fridge foraging for when no one is home and the windows are wide open... and for when I've locked the cat in the garage. If I don't lock the cat in the garage he comes charging in through the cat flap at the first whiff - meowing "CHRISTMAS" at top volume.

This Hot Smoked Salmon Kedgeree Stir Fry was born of a want for kedgeree and pure unadulterated laziness. I can't be bothered to cook up a storm most mornings and I want my first meal of the day to take as little time as possible to prepare so that I can stuff my face in a leisurely fashion and enjoy a pint of coffee whilst I wake up... plus - I don't like egg white. Kedgeree usually involves egg of some description. Boiled, poached or fried depending on the person cooking it. I honestly wish I could stand the texture of egg white because I would love to try Eggs Benedict or Huevos Rancheros but after 44 years it just ain't gonna happen. So I tend to stir a whole beaten egg into my kedgeree as a substitute and it works better with the stir fry method than any other...

... and there's that whole need for speed thing...

* Beef Rendang

This Beef Rendang has been lightened up by omitting the cooking oil at the beginning. It's a recipe that I adapted to be slightly more Slimming World Friendly and to suit my own taste buds. I've deseeded the chilli and added in chilli powder because it allows me more control over the amount of heat in the dish - but by all means leave the seeds in if you like the major burn that a fresh chilli can produce...

So... this could become a *thing* again (blogging). Well, for a little a while any way - at least until I spot a new shiny and chase it, whatever it may be.

I honestly thought I'd never blog a food recipe again - though I have kept my friends entertained (bored shitless) with photos of my experiments on my personal facebook page - I chucked all of my accumulated food props out when we moved home a year ago - including my beloved and much worn bread board that I used in the majority of my food photos. I also lost my beautiful desktop and pricey photo/paint program when The Little Man in our lives downloaded so much crap onto my pc that it kind of imploded.

He's not allowed on this one. It's not all singing and dancing like the last one... but if he breathes on it, I may kill him.

So... I'm going to *wing it* on the photo front for a bit and see how it goes - hopefully I won't put anything that resembles a pile of puke with rice, up for your perusal...

Oh... wait...

* Sweet Lamb and Chickpea Casserole

I'm just going to leave this here... and pretend that I have been updating this blog on a regular basis over the past three years, that my food photography skills have vastly improved (hahahahahaaaa), that I totally planned this and didn't actually just take a random photo of my cooking and think "Dammit I'm never going to remember this recipe unless I write it down... where can I put it so that I don't lose it?"

Perhaps if I slope quietly off into the ether that is my life, I'll get away with it... Not that I'm expecting some sort of hidden fan base to suddenly arrive and start crying with joy - though maaan that would feed the ego somewhat (it has shrunk in recent years to size of a small barge - it no longer has it's own seat at the table and even gave up the spare bed at some point when I wasn't looking).

This Sweet Lamb and Chickpea Casserole is the most recent recipe I have converted to as low fat as I can handle in my never ending endeavour to drop a dress size. I've probably lost the same 10lbs a million times over in the past three years. I blame wine.. and the husband, of course.

Should you stumble back across my path after all this time and decide to give this recipe a shot - I hope you enjoy it. Please excuse my less than professional photo - my camera got destroyed by sand in the lens a few years back whilst on holiday in Crete and I never bothered to replace it. I'm still working out how to get the best out of my S7's built in camera...

... and the rest of my life ;-)

* Pork Meatballs with Chipotle Tomato Sauce

I am currently going through yet another "use up everything in the freezers" phase. It's only going to last long enough for me to make enough room to stuff more stuff in them... and also long enough to discover a million different ways to cook pork mince - I have a crap ton of the stuff... of course, I didn't know this when I started this phase. If I had, I might still be endeavouring to cram everything into my freezers with a shoe horn. There's only so much pork mince a person can eat before they start oinking.

Or before one's husband begins to roll his eyes and ask... "Pork mince again??? Have we started a pig farm and this is your way of telling me?"

"No - but if you'd like to take over the cooking from now on.....?"

"Nothat'sokay."

"Thought so. Have another meatball... we have a freezer full of them."

We don't... but for the sake of winding him up, I just can't resist.

So... as you can see... I made these Pork Meatballs with Chipotle Tomato Sauce. They're  rich and spicy and busting with flavour and are also fairly easy on the calories.... yes... I am still dieting, or rather - since my last post I sort of, kind of, might have... eaten my own body weight in chocolate (again)... and decided I should probably start making an effort to ensure that I only ever require one seat on an aeroplane...

... to house my bum...

* Coconut Prawn Curry {Hairy Dieters}

Although I've always been on the voluptuous side of voluptuous, I have never really had a problem with my weight until I hit my fortieth birthday a couple of years back. All of a sudden it mattered. Oddly (or not) I have always struggled with my age... always... right back as far as the age of twenty four (many, many moons ago *sob*) when Neil bought me a bunch of flowers the day before my twenty fifth birthday because "You seem a bit bummed out about your birthday tomorrow".

Sweet.

He hasn't bought me flowers since. His excuses vary from "It's been so long, you'd wonder what I'd done wrong if I did"... to "The only flowers you'll be getting from me will be on your funeral wreath".

Wuuuuv. Twuu wuuuuv. 

I digress (what's new?)... in December last year I started up with Weight Watchers Online for about the fourth or fifth time and it lasted until Christmas Eve (ish), which is what I'd more or less expected - because I have the attention span of a rabid gnat when it comes to following any sort of plan... plus Christmas. Really. If you expected any different you seriously haven't been paying attention. I am offended. So... any weight that I lost before the Christmas period I gained back with big brass knobs on and a side of Christmas Pudding.

I've considered trying 5:2 again, Rosemary Conley, calorie counting... stapling my face shut. I've bought both of the Hairy Dieters Cook Books in a bid to inspire myself into Thindom and as yet, have only cooked the one recipe from them. This one. Coconut Prawn Curry. It's pretty scrumptious. So I thought I'd share it.

I have actually lost a couple of pounds this week, simply by walking the dog a bit further and a bit more often... I got up this morning to discover she'd placed a "Do Not Disturb" sign beside her bed and she's hidden her leash.

I'm tempted to shout "Walkies" just to see if she bites me.

* Sausage Meatballs in Tomato Sauce

I love it when a recipe works better than expected. These Sausage Meatballs in Tomato Sauce were absolutely scrumptious in a non *in yer face* way. They were so easy to put together that I expected to be bowled over with blandness.... plus I haven't had much in the way of taste in the past couple of weeks because of my VERY BAD COLD.

There.

I will never mention it again.

The sauce was slightly sweet and light due to the use of a carrot. I've not done that before, but they needed using up (doesn't everything?!?) and it was worth a shot. I know it's not a new idea - people have been sticking carrots into tomato sauce since time immemorial (whatever that means), but I haven't - so I wasn't sure that we... I... would like it.

But we did. Well, of course we did. I could hardly write a recipe up and say "Don't do this, it's dis-GUS-tin'!", could I?!?

Well I suppose I could, but then you'd hardly come back for more.

* Spicy Cashew and Sultana Rice {Meatless Mondays}

We're celebrating Neils 45th birthday tonight, if we can manage to get to mum's in Neil's car.

Typically, both cars have gone up the spout at the same time... mine's in the garage for an MOT that's going to cost an arm and a leg... and then Neil phoned this morning to say that his car kept cutting out on him on the the way to work. 

It never rains but it pours.

Hopefully a huge "curry night" will take the edge off for all of us, and in a few hours we'll be in a curry coma.

There's a bottle of wine, beers and half the makings of dinner at mum's already - and I've cooked the rest today. We're having this lovely Spicy Cashew and Sultana Rice with Chicken Tikka Masala, onion bhajis, vegetable samosas and naan breads. I'm not skilled enough to make the tricky bits (yet - working on it), but the rice and curry are family favourites that I can turn out with my eyes closed. 

Sometimes. 

Today I nearly burnt the curry because I was distracted by something online. 

It's really not a good idea to google Hugh Jackman images when you're supposed to be cooking dinner.

* Beef and Bell Pepper Goulash

Beef Goulash is the ideal food for the weather that we're having at the moment. It's not quite as heavy as a stew, but it's hearty, sweetly spicy and warming with a bowl of rice to soak up the juices.

This isn't a quick recipe, but more a slow burner - though still very easy to throw together and walk away from while it cooks.

After the lovely summer that we've had - it's almost inevitable that my welly boots now need their own welly boots. It isn't just raining - it's pouring.

The dog is speed pee-ing whenever she has to "go tinkles", to get it over and done with as quickly as possible and I wouldn't be surprised to walk into the kitchen at some point and find her with just her backside hanging out of the dog flap while she does her business. She never used to mind the rain, but as she's grown older she doesn't tolerate any level of discomfort well.

I sympathise completely.

I really don't like the discomfort of being hungry - which would probably explain the size of my bum. This 5:2 diet I'm on is making even cat food smell appetising when I catch a whiff of it as I trundle past the cats bowl on my way to the tap for a filling glass of water.

And toothpaste.

Toothpaste smells like gourmet fare.

I really need to go lick something.

* Moroccan Style Chicken Stew

This Moroccan Style Chicken Stew was one of those "bung it all in and hope it works" recipes... that worked. Well of course it did - I don't feed you lot any old horse manure, do I?

The stuff that doesn't work, gets spoken about in an aside. I don't give it a recipe title, a picture and a page of blurb - I give it to the dog.

This time, I had half a jar of Harissa Paste that needed using up (something always needs using up), or this might have ended up as something completely different - without the chickpeas and the sultanas. I had thought that I'd got a packet of dried-ready-to-eat-apricots sitting in the back of the cupboard that I could make use of instead of the sultanas.... and I sort of did... but I'm fairly sure that apricots are supposed to be a pale orange in colour - not blue and furry and beginning to evolve - so I ditched that idea, along with the apricots.

It was lovely anyway, with a huge bowl of unfussy couscous and a generous glass (or two) of wine.

Neil enjoyed it, because it had chicken in it. He's really starting to notice when a meal is vegetarian just recently. I had some Butternut and Bell Pepper Curry left over in the freezer, and he guilted me out so much about the lack of meat that I grilled a chicken breast and chucked it into his when I used it up.

I almost regretted it when he gave me an "Atta girl!" upon spying it in his curry. I told him if he slapped my backside and called me a wench he'd be wearing his dinner. Not eating it.

He got the hint.

Dinner was a quiet affair that night.

* Slow Cooker Mexican Meatballs

OhMyGod I can't stop making (and eating) these meatballs. I think Neil is on the verge of leaving me for a vegetarian - if he can find one that will have him - that's how often I've made them! He's the main wage earner so I've stepped the meatballage back a bit (in case he leaves me and takes his wallet with him), but as soon he's not looking... we're having them again.

I'm not normally a huge fan of meatballs. They mostly remind me of bolognese... but lumpy, and making a straight forwards bolognese is a lot less hassle and a lot less messy. I'll eat 'em, but only because Neil likes them...

... not so with these ones!

They are tender, melt in the mouth, little spicy balls of heaven. Heh. I just read through that last sentence again. I like it. Little spicy balls of heaven. Lovely.

Because of that little bit of heat, we've chosen (I've chosen. I'm the one that does all the cooking. I'm in charge. I am THE BOSS. Evil laugh.) to eat ours with rice. It works really well with white basmati, but brown long grain adds a bit of gnarly nomminess to the dish.

They freeze incredibly well (probably too well... I'm tempted to put these on the menu daily) and are a great way of using up any bell peppers that you have lying around in your fridge, gasping for air.

Yet again, it' a recipe that I've adapted from The Slow Cook Book by Heather Whinney, and another rousing success for my slow cooker. Poor, poor dog sinks into a state of depression when she sees me get it out now, because she knows she's not even going to get to lick a plate.

I lick my own.

Addendum (love that word) - There's a great *link up* on a Friday at Simply Living and Eating and I've posted this recipe there. Check out the page to find more fab recipes, just click on the image or link above.

* Slow Cooker Prawn and Sausage Jambalaya

Yeah Baby... YEAH!... Another success in my slow cooker. "OOooooh Happy Daaaaayyyyyyyzzzzzz".

I'll be honest (when am I not), I was expecting this to be a disaster because of the rice. Not out of any sort of psychic knowledge of what rice does in a slow cooker, but from one experience a couple of weeks back when dinner went in the dog.

I had discovered a weight watchers chicken rice type recipe for the slow cooker and followed the method and ingredients precisely and maaaan oh maaan "disgusting" just doesn't cover it - I could have cemented a house together with what came out of the pot. Sammy (the dog) thought it was Christmas (for the third time that week... don't even get me started on the beef skirt I wasted on a casserole in the bloody thing). I didn't give her the whole pot all at once - I made it last for a few days at dinner time for her - but she still couldn't get her belly up off the floor for a week afterwards. When Neil tried to play tug-o-war with her, which she loves, she just kind of rolled her eyes at him in a "stupid boy" fashion, rolled over, farted and went back to sleep...(I also do this when Neil wants me to play tug-o-war... but for entirely different reasons).

She didn't get any of this though. It was scrumptious.

Yet again it's a recipe that I adapted (quite a lot) from The Slow Cook Book by Heather Whinney. There was a bit of pre-cooking involved, and I have to admit that's not what I bought the slow cooker for. I really wanted to be able to just bung everything in it, turn it on and "Hey Presto!"... dinner is cooked and ready to serve a few hours later.... however... the end result is always worth the extra bit of effort, and I have the time to do it (mostly) - so why not?

As typically as ever, I didn't have all of the ingredients for this to begin with. I bought okra thinking I had everything else... and when I checked, the only thing I had, was the okra. Thankfully I got my car back from Neil on Monday, so was able to go shopping (I was born to shop) and get the rest. I suppose I could have played about with the main ingredients, but I've had such little success with the slow cooker that I didn't want to jinx the current turn of events.

I'm building up the courage to tackle making a cheesecake in it. Though I'm not sure my brain is on the same page with this one.

Which could be interesting.

* Chicken Flavoured Rice

Plain boiled white rice is all very well, but occasionally it's nice to add a smidgen of flavour to it. My personal favourite is Saffron Rice, but I've just used up the last of the saffron - so that wasn't an option. It's also exorbitantly expensive to purchase in the big name supermarkets... one strand of saffron in a jar will cost you your first born's first born.

My first born hasn't got a clue that he's been born. Not sure how that'd work out as far as offering up my first grandchild as payment for a strand of saffron would be concerned. They'd probably want a refund. Heck... I'd want a refund.

Just think... if I'd bought my son in a shop I could have taken him back years ago and said "This one's broke can I have another?" As long as I didn't tell the shop owner that I broke him when I got him home, they'd have to give me my money back - wouldn't they?!? I wouldn't want an exchange - I've been lead to believe that girls are even more hard work than boys :/

I'm sure you think I'm being mean... but if I tell you that he doesn't eat my cooking... complains almost constantly that he's "not eating any of that foreign crap" (anything with pasta or rice is foreign... apparently)... then goes to the shops and buys himself one of those plastic burgers that you bung in the microwave for a minute and wolfs it down with a 2 litre bottle of cola... then complains that he's caught the sniffles from a passing bumble bee... and please could I make him something hot and spicy and foreign to help clear his nose...

... well...

... wouldn't you at least want to see if you could find the box he came in?

* Seafood Paella

I've been a busy bee this past week - painting and decorating a bedroom for my mum. I've been covered in white paint freckles from top to toe and at one point you'd have been forgiven for thinking I'd been dipping my hands in the paint pot rather than bothering with a brush... not exactly a french manicure.

I decorate a bit like I cook... the end result is always - okaaaaay... mostly - worth the effort, but the utter carnage I leave in my wake can leave even me... awestruck.

This would probably amaze my friend Trina, because I'm fairly sure she thinks I have OCD (mainly because she said so). She saw inside my cupboard under the stairs yesterday and stopped just short of taking my temperature - my cupboards are organised to within an inch of their lives. Not because I am tidy and organised when given the time, but more because I have a temper that makes anything that isn't nailed down - fair game.

I have lots and lots of stuff in my cupboards. It's a small house. If I can't get to what's in them - I break stuff. Stuff that is in the way of other stuff. Stuff that I need. Just... stuff. So it's safer, cheaper and more expedient for me to be able to get at all of that stuff, without testing my patience... of which, I have none.

Happily, this Seafood Paella didn't test my patience either and was fairly quick and easy to put together, which meant we didn't have to survive on take-out whilst I was becoming the next Michael Angelo.

I kid you not. My undercoating is "To Die For".

* Chicken Biryani

Guess what I did???!!!

I MADE A FACEBOOK PAGE!!! I did, I did, I did.

I've held off on doing it for quite some time, because I didn't want to share what I've been up to in my spare time with everyone that actually knows me ( a few people knew because I can't keep my mouth shut and because my darling mummy can't keep hers shut either). I wasn't sure what their reaction would be, and it really mattered. Plus I'm a little bit vain and I wanted to tidy up the furniture a bit before inviting everyone in for a cuppa and a slice of cake... or three.

Even after I'd created the page I wasn't sure if I was going to invite my mates to *like* it. But I accidentally posted one of my recipes on my personal page. I was immediately messaged on my mobile phone by Charlene (who I love because she takes no prisoners), saying that she loved my blog. Have to confess that I panicked slightly and thought "OhMyGodI'mNotReadyYet!!!!", but she just kept on saying nice things... mainly recipe titles with drooling words and demands that I get in the kitchen and cook something now.

Everyone needs a Charlene.

Her reaction convinced me to just go for it and invite them all (and all of you) into my little corner of the food blogging world.

I'm so glad I did. They were amazing, and funny and kind and supportive and I'm feeling a little bit lucky right about now.

Right. Enough about them. Lets talk about me. There's a facebook widget in the top right corner of the page. If you want to click *like* you'd make my day. I promise not to plague your facebook pages with random poop that is completely unrelated to what I do in my kitchen.

There is actually a recipe in here somewhere for Chicken Biryani. It's dead easy and dead quick and dead tasty. Just click the linky below to find out :)

* Spinach and Chestnut Mushroom Risotto

This risotto recipe was born of the need to use up yet more spinach... there's currently a ban on purchasing spinach, in this house. Seeing as I'm the only one that ever does any actual shopping in this household - it would appear that it's not actually the household that is banned from buying the spinach...

It's me.

I'm banned from buying spinach.

Now if only I knew how to enforce such a ban, it might actually work.

However... I'm fairly sure that the next time I'm in a supermarket (tomorrow), that a bag of spinach will unerringly find it's way into my shopping trolley - with absolutely... no. help. from. me. Really.

I love cooking (mostly) - but I don't love cooking risotto (ever). It's a labour of love. One that I can only donate time to if I have a good book. So I can stir the pot lovingly whilst reading something suitably interesting, but not so interesting that I forget to add more hot stock and the risotto drys to a crisp and has to have a half hearted burial service in the kitchen bin.

Nope.

It's got be a book that holds the attention for three minutes at a time, possibly four.

I've yet to find a book that does this. So I had to lovingly stir this particular risotto whilst singing the track to Adele:21 in my head. Got a bit carried away by the time I'd reached Set Fire To The Rain - and was singing at full blast into the spoon that was supposed to be lovingly stirring the pot...but happily, the noise did not kill our dinner.

Or our appetites.

* Chilli Coconut Chicken with Noodles

I'm currently suffering from major Nachos Withdrawal Symptoms - it's going to be Wednesday at the earliest before I can get my next fix. I know I could make them for myself, but if I bring the ingredients for them into my home - my diet will be completely screwed!!! As it is - I'm not exactly going to be winning any medals for willpower at the moment... though somehow I am still managing to lose weight...

12.5lbs in five weeks.

AND THE CROWD GOES WIIIIIIIILD...

...I can hear the silence from here. Truly.

Anyhoo... I figured I've been doing so well, I might as well jump off the Weightwatchers Wagon and into a vat of coconut cream.

I'm lying.

I screwed up.

I had NO IDEA just how many points the following recipe was going to take out of my daily allowance... until after I'd eaten it. So - if you're looking for a weightwatchers friendly recipe today...

THIS ISN'T IT!

Hah.

* Creamy Paprika Pork

I've chosen to remove (temporarily) one of my recipes because it has become an almost permanent victim of *that meat that comes in a tin* - I'm not saying it out loud in case this post attracts the same - and it's absolutely doing my head in. I've reverted it to draft form, and have no idea when I publish it again, whether it will slot back into my blog in it's original place, or show up as a new entry. So if you spot one of my bread recipes is missing, this is why.

I have also been debating (quite seriously) the pros and cons of having a *followers* gadget in the right hand column on this blog for some time - since I started it up, in fact. On the one hand, it's an easy way for anyone that likes what they find, to find their way back when there are new posts... and on the other hand it tends to look like a measure of one's popularity, but only if one is striving to be popular.

One has never striven to be popular.

One's two friends could attest to that.

So.... The follower gadget... I did it.

Theeeeennn I undid it.

It lasted about a day, maybe two. It made me distinctly uncomfortable and I honestly couldn't tell you why. The only thing I can compare it too (and it's random) is the difficulty I face when purchasing birthday cards for a loved one... although I completely empathise with the flowery, sentimental words written within some of those cards, and they convey exactly how I feel about the person I'm buying the card for... I'D RATHER SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT than buy one.

I nearly always purchase a card that has no words and could mean absolutely anything, and I write the words myself "Happy Birthday" - that's it. Simple but effective. "Happy Birthday". That's all you get... and maybe a *much love*  - if I love you...

...or a *from* - if I don't love you and have only bought the card out of some misguided sense of duty. Let's face it - if it's just got *from* on it, I don't even like you and my mum made me do it.

I did say it was random.

Can you even imagine the absolute agony I go through at Valentine's?? How to convey to my husband that I love him very much, without actually buying a card that says that??!!??

Did I mention that I'm slightly unhinged?

Did I need to?

* Sweet 'n' Sour Prawns

I've had an amazingly crappy week for one simple reason... 

I've not been able to turn my head. 

Which is hysterically funny if you're the person watching me fling my entire body round in a circle every time someone calls my name... or I can't find the dog... but not so funny when you're me.

Reversing the car onto the driveway has been fun. I've only hit the house once. Which is actually pretty good for me - I used to reverse into the garden fence on a regular basis, so Neil put a bin shed type affair on the drive to cushion the blow and aid with my perspective.

The bins are now out of the shed and postioned firmly in front of it... to cushion the blow and aid with my perspective.

I could confess and tell him that I do it deliberately because his exasperation entertains me... but what fun would that be?

Tonights dinner needed to be something very quick and easy, that didn't require too much in the way of full body movement. I did consider giving Neil a ring and asking him to grab dinner on the way home - but I have all his money.

Go me.

* Spicy Chicken Jambalaya

I'm dosed up with Lemsip Max and because I can't taste mild flavours at present, I thought I'd better go with something spicy for dinner that not only will tickle my taste buds, but might actually clear my airways too.

I know that Neil would really love some bog standard mashed potato, meat and gravy - but yet again I'm in the mood for rice, and he'll eat anything if you serve it with warm bread - so I whacked a wholemeal baguette in the oven to accompany my Spicy Chicken Jambalaya and he loved it.

Or he said he did.

NOTE: This recipe was cooked in my fan oven - To cook in a conventional oven use less liquid and be prepared to double the time it takes... Why did I cook it in the fan oven?... I was hungry... it was quicker.

* Bacon and Zucchini Risotto

The only reason I've used the word Zucchini, instead of Courgette (I'm British)... is because I really like the letter 'Z'. That's it. That's the reason.... 'Courgette' sounds like a car with issues. 'Zucchini' sounds like something green, Italian and sexy. I've no idea if Zucchini is an Italian word or not. I don't care if it's Bulgarian for 'Breeze Block'. It's a nice word.

I also like the word 'plank', but it's hard to incorporate it into the title of a recipe.

Actually, it's hard to incorporate into an every day sentence unless used in context or as an insult.

Still. 'Plank' is a good word.

As is 'cheese'.

Back to the topic... Blondie - my partner in crime at work - brought a huge bag of baby yellow courgettes into work a couple of days ago - fresh from her garden - for the rest of us to share. I was really tempted to make another ratatouille hotpot, but as we've only recently had one and I really fancied rice tonight - I made a risotto instead.

Neil is not a fan of risotto, so I called it something complicated and asked if he'd eat it.

He said yes.

He'd cleared his plate and was licking his lips when he decided to ask if I'd just conned him into eating risotto.

I said no.