* Blackberry Ice Cream

I have been a-foraging. I have cuts, bruises, scabs, grazes and thorns in my feet (because I was in a hippy happy mood and wanted to wear my sandals in the sunshine) and up my arms. Thankfully my face has remained un-harmed by my endeavours into "Death by Blackberry Bush".

The dog found it all vastly amusing and sat huff-huffing behind me as I balanced on my tippy-toes, reaching for just-one-more-black-berry... and went arse over tit into the bushes. MY GOD they have the tiniest little thorns on them that weave their way under your skin like splinters. I really wanted my mummy. At least twice.

She used to take us (my baby bruvver and I) blackberrying on the way home from school, every September. We'd get home with purple fingers and faces, and decide that we were going to come and live in the brambles and feast on the berries for ever and ever and ever... 

... until one of us would say "I bet you ate a maggot".

Aren't kids lovely... I used to tell my brother that we found him in a dustbin.

Where were we? Blackberry Ice Cream.... Oooooh.... right... I inherited my dad's decrepit Ice Cream maker and have only recently pulled it out of the attic and cleaned it up so's I can play. I have never, ever made ice cream before. Definitely. Not at college. Not in my yoof. Not in my house. Not in my life.

I have now made blackberry ice cream.

I will be making it again.

I will not be telling anyone next time.

I will not be sharing it.

You won't want to, either.

* Eton Mess Cheesecake

I think I may have an addiction to food shopping. Actually, I know I have an addiction to food shopping. 

One day I will photograph the contents of my fridge, food cupboards, freezers and emergency *just in case of a nuclear war that causes earthquakes and volcanic eruptions that create a Tsunami that melts all the icebergs and THEN we get hit by an asteroid* shelf in the cupboard under the stairs... and share them with you... and you probably won't ever come back.

I'm thinking of running away from it all myself. Possibly to Australia. With an Australian. With Hugh Jackman... Not Guy Pearse, he's kinda scrawny looking... Bruce Bannanannanaman has his horny moments though.

I think I'd probably take my food shopping addiction with me, and I can't see Hugh or Bruce being too happy about that. Guy could do with a decent dinner or two but he's not in the running. So. What to do.

Cue The Clash, front stage in my head "Should I stay or should I go noowwwwwwww".

Well I'm gonna stay. And I'm gonna cook it all. Then I'm gonna eat it all. I think I have enough food stashed throughout the house, to feed us for at least the next three months, other than for fresh vegetables.

I would LOVE to slowly get rid of it all and start completely afresh, but when I decide to use something up and enjoy what I've eaten - I go straight out and buy more so's I can make it again. Like with this cheesecake - I needed to use up some strawberries and cream cheese and I had a couple of meringue nests "waiting for God" in a packet on the *panic shelf*...

Sigh... it was so nice - I went straight out and bought another punnet of strawberries... and spotted some raspberries blowing kisses at me from the shelf beside them... and found myself wandering towards a box of meringues before my brain kicked in, took control of my feet and moved us (me and my brain), towards the checkout.

It didn't spot the box of cream cheese I'd stashed under the strawberries though.

Hah. My brain is so sssslow.

Oh.
Wait.

* Rustic Strawberry Cheese Cake

I took a GAZILLION photographs of this cheesecake and was very tempted to subject you to all of them, just so's you could drool as much as I did.

But you may have become paralysed with boredom after the first fifty, so I thought "best not".

It's a *no bake* cheesecake that I made to take to my mum's for Mothers Day last Sunday. I desperately wanted to write the recipe up for it on the Sunday morning and share it with you then, but had to wait until after we'd eaten it - just in case it was awful. It wasn't.

It was scrum-diddly-umptious.

Yes. I have been watching way too much of The Simpsons. No. I don't need to get out more.

Mum loved it (the cheesecake), as did everyone else. I wish I'd thought to take my camera with me, so's I could have taken even more photos of it in various states of dishabille, smothered in strawberry coulis. But I forgot.

Lucky you.

* Chocolate and Marshmallow Fridge Cake

I found the recipe for this in a Sainsbury's Magazine about a year or so ago. Made it once and vowed never to make it again. It lasted less then 2 hours. We were pigs. Big pigs. My son was the worst culprit and he's been begging me to make this again, ever since.

I have marshmallows and macadamias and I quite like him at the moment, so thought "Why not?" The Hazelnut Squares are all but gone, and it's nice to have something lurking in the background to satisfy those sweet tooth cravings.... of which we have many.

I can't help but think back to when my brother and I were kids, and our mum used to bake every Wednesday of our lives. My brother pointed out a few years back, that on those days we just couldn't win... if we loved what she'd baked we'd eat it all rather quickly - in which case she'd vow never to make it again because we were greedy.. ooooorrrr we didn't like what she'd baked and didn't touch it... in which case she'd vow never to make it again because we were ungrateful.

There was a kind of twisted logic in that.

I think I'm turning into my mum.

Shoot me. Shoot me now.

* Velvet Chocolate Mousse

I have not made chocolate mousse in YEARS. When I had finished creating my velvety masterpiece and glanced around at the carnage in the kitchen - I suddenly remembered why. There were bowls and whisks and chocolate and egg shells  absolutely everywhere

I'm not a tidy cook. I make stuff up as I go along - I have to, I genuinely tend to discover key ingredients are missing from my store cupboard about half way through a recipe - and I inadvertently leave utter chaos in my wake. I have tried to tidy up my act over the years, but with no success.

Neil is constantly amazed at my ability to use every single pot and pan within reach, even when we go out and get a take-away. As am I.

True story.

Back to the mousse... I promise you won't make anywhere near as much mess as I did - and you won't find any chocolate mousse on the back of your neck at bed time. Or behind your ear.... or between your toes.

I didn't either.

* No Bake Lime Cheesecake

This is my oldest BFF's recipe. The first time I ate it, we were having a girly night in with friends, curry and alcohol - and I had seconds. I'd have gone in for thirds, but they were all already open mouthed at what my BFF termed as my "Amazing capacity for sweet things"... this from the person who worships at the alter of the Goddess of *All Things Chips and Dips* - and has done for the 28 years that I have known her.

I digress.

I begged for the recipe.

It was another year (at least) before I managed to badger her into submission. With the recipe came strict instructions to NEVER use low fat cream cheese - because the recipe wouldn't work... of course I had to try it at least once with low fat cream cheese... just to be sure...

... she was right. Dammit. Which was NOT fun.

Now that I have the recipe - I make it for all of us at least once a month. Both Neil and Josh love it (as do I), and it's too easy not to include it on a regular basis.