* Chicken, Chorizo and Borlotti Bean Stew

Yes, it's yet another recipe with beans in it - this time they're purple ones. Sort of. I can promise you that it's not the beans recipes that you're going to get sick of though -it's the chorizo ones. I bought a *job lot* because I LOVE IT and have had to use it up whilst it's still fresh. Which I don't mind at all, because I LOVE IT but you might not. So... I'll try to be kind and space them out a little, but I'm promising nuffink... because... well... I LOVE IT.

Apparently, I also love a lot of other food. Weight watchers has not been going well for at least the past 4 weeks - I haven't tracked my food intake, even though I have tracked the points for 99% of my recipes. My weight remained the same for 4 weeks - which is better than going up, but not as good as going down. Which disappointed my brain no end.

I think me and my brain need to have a conversation about what constitutes a miracle. It has much higher expectations of weight loss, than I do. It also has a nasty habit of making me keep my eyes shut when I get on the scales on a Friday morning. How on earth am I supposed to see how much I weigh, through my eyelids??!!??

Imagine our surprise (yes, I am referring to myself with a plural...) when I managed to prise my eyes open this morning, and we discovered we had lost 2lbs. My brain had a little party that involved streamers, popping noises and an imaginary kazoo... and I got straight on the phone to ask my mate if she'd like to go swimming again... at which point my brain caught up, stopped blowing on it's imaginary kazoo and put on it's swimsuit.

A frilly pink one with yellow spots.

I can't take her anywhere.

* Bolognese Sauce

I have several Bolognese Sauce recipes, it all depends on the ingredients I have available at the time. Today I had everything I needed for this one.

When were kids, my mum's bolognese had mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and bay leaf in it. But no bacon or other vegetables. It was her standby meal for when she had a houseful of teenagers to feed... she always had a houseful of teenagers to feed. She'd finish work at 5pm and phone me to find out how many we needed to cook for, anything more than four and it was bolognese.

When I was nineteen, I started to take over a lot of the cooking for the family, because I had... ummmm... unwittingly.... added another family member. Nope. Didn't marry anyone (that would have been too easy). I had a baby. So... I did my bit to help out.

It was also around about that time, when my brother brought his first serious girlfriend home. So our somewhat chaotic household that had already got a gazillion teenagers camping out in the living room on a daily basis... suddenly added two more.

We ate A LOT of minced beef during our teen years. I think  that mum and dad considered building an extension to get away from us all, at one point. It didn't happen though, because although it must have been hard work, they were the reason that all of our friends felt so welcome, all of the time.

That and my mum's bolognese, obviously.

* Cheesy Tuna Quesadillas

I've been making tortilla wraps stuffed with just about anything I have left over in the fridge - that needs eating up - for years. I've only recently started to cook quesadillas as an alternative, and I'm falling in love with them, though I've yet to find a way of stopping the chorizo ones from oozing orangey red oil down the front of whatever top I'm wearing... those ones involve a lot of strategic chin placement and mopping up.

Quesadillas have become an almost permanent lunchtime fixture of late because none of us like shop bought bread, and I keep forgetting to load up the bread maker until I'm hungry and it's too late. This is probably also the reason that I like such hearty soups, because they don't really require bread... there's one on the stove bubbling away right now, and even though I'm writing this and thinking "I must get a loaf in the bread maker in a minute"... it ain't gonna happen.

In another ten minutes -when I've finished updating etc - I have no idea what my brain will be doing. I know it well enough by now, to know that the mere fact that it has considered the possibility of making bread... is going to convince it, that it has, in fact, gone through the entire process of loading up the bread maker with the necessary ingredients and turned it on.

In four hours time it will be completely dumbfounded by the fact that there is still no bread cooking in the bread maker.

This is when it will have a light bulb moment... It will then promise to do better next time... make my feet walk into the kitchen towards the bread maker... spot the washing blowing on the line... get meowed at by Archie because he's decided he wants feeding.... feed the cat... wander back out of the kitchen... then four hours later...

Rinse and repeat.

It's incredibly hard work being me.

* Banana Loaf

It's absolutely chucking it down, again. I know us British have a somewhat obsessive relationship with the weather - as in we all bring it into every conversation at least once (and I'm not exaggerating, not even a little) - but you can hardly blame us when we get all four seasons in one day, on what's becoming a fairly regular basis.

At the moment when the sun shines, we're all too wary of it's fleeting visit, to dig in and enjoy it. Just as we think "Is that really the sun up there?" and "I'm going to get the lawnmower out"... the heavens open and we're faced with yet another deluge of dampness. The entire country is starting to smell like permanently wet washing.

I'm so fed up with getting wet because I have to walk the dog in it, that I thought I might as well get wet voluntarily - so I've been swimming this morning, at the local holiday camp with a friend. I've never been before, even though I've lived in the village for 20 years. I had no idea that the pool was open to the public.

It was heaven.

There was hardly anyone there and the water was so warm it was like a giant cuddle as I got in. No - there hadn't been a million toddlers in there five minutes previously, all having a piddle. 

At least... I don't think there was.

It was raining when we got there. It was raining when we left. It's still raining now... and guess what...

The dog wants to go for a walk. 

She'll have to stick a cork in it. 

I want a slice of this cake.

* Creamy Bacon, Mushroom and Tomato Tagliatelle

I've been attempting to stick to some sort of routine as far as updating is concerned, and I think I managed a week before it all went tits up! I was aiming for Monday, Wednesday and Friday - but for whatever reason I can't schedule a post for a certain time, so have to do it all *hands on*... I know. I can get it fixed. Just haven't got that far yet. Life has this godawful habit of getting in the way...

...aaaaaaaand I have a brain that flushes stuff out once it gets full. So I forget stuff. Never important stuff. Just... *stuff what I might need at some point in the future* - like (for instance) the ingredients that I used for this particular recipe. I've just had a mild panic attack whilst staring at the photographs and thinking "OhMyGodHowDidIMakeThis??!!??"

Not only did I forget all of the ingredients... I also forgot that I knew that I would forget all of the ingredients. Read it again. It makes complete sense.

So guess what I did?  Guess. Go on.

Apparently I rescued myself!!! I've just wandered in here to make a new post, debating (rather fervently) whether or not to blag it or cook the flamin' thing again, only to discover that in amongst the posts was a post titled "Creamy Bacon, Mushroom and Tomato Tagliatelle" in draft form.

I HAD ALREADY WRITTEN THE RECIPE OUT!!! Hah. Go me. With big brass shiny knobs on.

You know what this means don't you?

I am officially an adult.

I've stuck little gold stars all over my face, as proof.

* Chilli Con Carne

I think everyone must have a favourite version of Chilli Con Carne. This is mine. It's based on a Jamie Oliver recipe from Happy Days with The Naked Chef and I'll confess that before cooking it Jamie's way, I had no clue how to make a chilli taste good. I could make a chilli. I just couldn't make one that I wanted to eat more than once.

The recipe called for two 400g cans of kidney beans, and I honestly thought "Whoa there cowboy!" I didn't even like kidney beans in the singular, let alone two whole plurals of them. Still, it's what the recipe said, so it's what I did.... that was many moons ago now, and the very beginning of my addiction to all things *pulses*. If I can stick a plural of beans into anything - I stick a plural of beans into everything.

You may have noticed this.

I fart A LOT. Which is fun if you are me, but not so much if you're with me. Or so I'm told.

There's no chocolate or coffee or horsemeat in this chilli - just good spices, the usual ingredients, BEANS... and love.

Yes.

There is love in my chilli.

It's how I roll.

* Rustic Strawberry Cheese Cake

I took a GAZILLION photographs of this cheesecake and was very tempted to subject you to all of them, just so's you could drool as much as I did.

But you may have become paralysed with boredom after the first fifty, so I thought "best not".

It's a *no bake* cheesecake that I made to take to my mum's for Mothers Day last Sunday. I desperately wanted to write the recipe up for it on the Sunday morning and share it with you then, but had to wait until after we'd eaten it - just in case it was awful. It wasn't.

It was scrum-diddly-umptious.

Yes. I have been watching way too much of The Simpsons. No. I don't need to get out more.

Mum loved it (the cheesecake), as did everyone else. I wish I'd thought to take my camera with me, so's I could have taken even more photos of it in various states of dishabille, smothered in strawberry coulis. But I forgot.

Lucky you.

* Somerset Stew with Cheddar and Chive Mash

I bought a 500ml bottle of cider a few weeks back, intending to use it to make this stew - then put it in the drinks cupboard (yes, we have one of those) and completely forgot about it until I was searching for the sherry. So I finally got round to making it yesterday.

When Neil saw the open bottle sitting in the fridge he had a slight panic attack and asked if I'd used one of his Christmas presents. Apparently he was given a bottle of cider with a glass, and he thought I'd purloined it for his dinner. Quite frankly, if I'd remembered he'd got it, I wouldn't have bought the other bottle - but that's between you, me and the gatepost.

It really was incredibly easy to make, and very tasty - I added a couple of sausages to Neil's plate, he's pretty much like a lot of meat eating men, and doesn't believe that vegetables alone constitute a decent meal. I don't mind vegetarian fare at all, in fact, a lot of the time it's more interesting to cook and to eat.

I did try to become vegetarian when I was a teenager ( looooooooooooooooong time ago), and there really wasn't much on offer. My mum did most of the cooking and she wasn't exactly adventurous - vegetarian sausages came in a packet mix that you added water to, and shaped into sausages. The same with burgers.... As a teenager, I wasn't much interested in making an effort for myself as far as my diet was concerned. Bless her heart, she tried so hard find vegetarian alternatives for me... I finally let her off the hook when I confessed that I'd been stopping at a greasy burger van on the way home from work every night, (for weeks) and stuffing my face with a beef quarter pounder with cheese..

I think she threw a cauliflower at me. SEE???... completely unadventurous vegetable to be lobbing at a teen.

If it had been me, I'd have thrown a Butternut Squash.

* Butternut Squash and Tomato Soup

This soup was absolutely scrumptious, and so easy to make that I almost feel guilty for calling it a recipe. But it has a list of ingredients and some instructions, so a recipe is what it is.

I'm a huge fan of soup - obviously - but not a huge fan of smooth or pureed soups. Hubby is, however. So this one was for him - at least - that's what I told him. But I tell him a lot of crap that isn't true, so lets not pick on this one thing...

I tell him the standard "No, this isn't new - it's been in the back of the wardrobe for AGES" and "I got this for half price, honest". I also say things like "Look what mum bought me", "No, I didn't go out for lunch today", "I've been REALLY busy ALL day", "I've only had one glass of wine, dahlink *hic* ", and my all time favourite "No, it's NOT a risotto, it's a rice casserole."

Apparently, he knows when I'm lying because I open my mouth. He knows full well when I'm telling him pork pies, he just decides to play along. His favourite quote...

Happy Wife. Happy Life.

Works for me :)

NOTE: You'll probably notice - if you're a frequent visitor - that some of my recipes are starting to appear without the usual *tute style* photographs within them. This is because there are times when they are either a tad pointless, or because I just wanted to enjoy cooking something without arsing about every couple of minutes.

If you have an opinion on this... you want them all the time, don't want them at all... or couldn't give a flying fig... please feel free to comment and let me know :) 

I promise to be nice.

* Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all the mums out there today!

It's the official Mothering Sunday here in the UK today and it's come upon us out of the blue. I'm pretty sure we only just finished with Christmas a few days back and yet already - here we are.

AND there have been Easter Eggs on shop shelves since Boxing Day here. Honest.

My son has just phoned from his nan's to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. He's improving with age...

When he was 10yrs old he decided he'd rather buy himself a bar of chocolate than waste his money on me because I could buy my own flowers, if I really wanted some. There was a twisted logic in that that I actually admired but my entire family kept trying to save the day by coaxing him into at least picking a few weeds out of his grandad's garden and handing them over as a token gift... well... Josh isn't one to be coaxed and that year I ended up with the torn off heads of mum's Camelias being lobbed at the patio windows to cries of "Happy F*****g Mothers Day!!!".

He was a sweet child.

He's 21 now and this year - although I haven't seen him yet - he's bought himself a DVD for Mothers Day. Apparently I can watch it with him and keep it on the shelf downstairs.

It's my fault that he's the way he is, because I find him very funny. When he was throwing those Camelias at me and swearing, I was rolling around the living room floor trying not to wet myself laughing. The fact that he's actually remembered Mothers Day this year, is progress.

Happily, I don't need flowers or a card to know that he loves me.

I'm his mum :)

However - MY mum needs to know it in person, up close and personal - so I'm letting her cook me a roast dinner.

You can see where my boy gets his winning personality from, can't you.

Happy Mother's Day XXxx

* Carrot Cake

There are loads of Carrot Cake recipes out there, and I've eaten more than my fair share in my quest to discover my favourite. Currently, it's this one.

My sister-in-law loved this cake the one and only time I made it for a family get together at my brother's...

I'm not good at sharing this cake once I've made it.

Not even with Neil and Josh, who also happen to love it.

Or mum - who is still waiting for a piece to arrive via son-in-law delivery as he passes by her house on the way to work. She's completely out of luck on this occasion.

I've eaten it all.

Yes.

BANG goes the diet... for this week at any rate. I knew it would happen. It's almost as if I had to make the cake just to see. It would have been wonderful if I could have surprised myself with the will power to eat one piece a day (even), but noooooooooooooooo. One piece at a time... totally achievable.

It was easier to stop smoking than it is to stop eating. If I never had to eat again, I reckon I could do it. But the whole "food is fuel" thing knocks that idea straight out of the park.

My tank, it overfloweth.

* Spinach and Chestnut Mushroom Risotto

This risotto recipe was born of the need to use up yet more spinach... there's currently a ban on purchasing spinach, in this house. Seeing as I'm the only one that ever does any actual shopping in this household - it would appear that it's not actually the household that is banned from buying the spinach...

It's me.

I'm banned from buying spinach.

Now if only I knew how to enforce such a ban, it might actually work.

However... I'm fairly sure that the next time I'm in a supermarket (tomorrow), that a bag of spinach will unerringly find it's way into my shopping trolley - with absolutely... no. help. from. me. Really.

I love cooking (mostly) - but I don't love cooking risotto (ever). It's a labour of love. One that I can only donate time to if I have a good book. So I can stir the pot lovingly whilst reading something suitably interesting, but not so interesting that I forget to add more hot stock and the risotto drys to a crisp and has to have a half hearted burial service in the kitchen bin.

Nope.

It's got be a book that holds the attention for three minutes at a time, possibly four.

I've yet to find a book that does this. So I had to lovingly stir this particular risotto whilst singing the track to Adele:21 in my head. Got a bit carried away by the time I'd reached Set Fire To The Rain - and was singing at full blast into the spoon that was supposed to be lovingly stirring the pot...but happily, the noise did not kill our dinner.

Or our appetites.

* Chicken, Tomato and Pasta Soup

This Chicken, Tomato and Pasta Soup has been a life saver over the weekend... I shall explain...

We had a girly night in, at a friends house on Saturday night... there was MUCH wine, MUCH Chilli, MUCH chips and dips and MUCH competitive dancing on the Wii. I won every time I danced, because I know how to shake my thang. Really. I do.

What I don't know - is how to turn down another glass of wine. The words "No" and "Thankyou" disappear completely from my vocabulary, about halfway down the first glass. Which is when other words suddenly take a leading role. Mostly swear words. My sentences are peppered with blue language when sober, they are positively drenched when I'm not. Which is NOT FUN when in polite company, but seeing as I wasn't (in polite company), it was fine. If slightly blethering idiot.

Still. I won the dance off.

It was worth the hangover.

Which brings me back to the soup...(niiiiiice segway, Abs *pats self on back*)... I knew - with absolute clarity on Friday - that I would not want to do more than veg out, on Sunday - so I made this soup.

It was sustenance.

It was delicious.

I am SMRT.