* Beef and Guinness Pie

I cooked a version of this Beef and Guinness Pie for the first time a couple of years ago after watching "Jamie at home". I bought the book and it was one of the first recipes that we tried. At that time, Neil was interested in doing a bit of cooking too so we made the pie together... which was fun.

Sort of.

Thankfully, his interest didn't really last beyond cooking and eating this pie... either that or I subliminally chased him from the kitchen. And by subliminally I mean standing at the kitchen door and saying "Get. Out." every time he came near it when dinner wasn't actually on the table. I may have been wielding a rolling pin at the time, too.

Neil is a man of simple tastes and absolutely loves this pie. He'd far rather eat meat and potatoes than any of the variety of foods that I put in front of him (and then blog) - but he doesn't cook so he doesn't get much in the way of a choice. I usually cook enough meat to fill two medium pies and Neil has a happy head on for a couple of days because most of the time we eat them on alternate days, so that I don't have to freeze one. They freeze really well - I just can't be bothered, and if he sees both pies I have a hard time convincing Neil that "NO... we are NOT eating one each!"

Sometimes I have to convince myself too :D

* Sweet Potato and Caramelised Onion Quiche {Meatless Mondays}

I know I keep saying that I'm surprised when a recipe works, but I genuinely am. This Sweet Potato and Caramelised Onion Quiche was an experiment because I used my favourite Parmesan and polenta pastry with it. I thought I might have gone for overkill with the flavour combinations and ended up with a dish that was all over the shot.

Happily I was wrong.

I made the quiche to take to mum's on Sunday as my brother and his clan were donning their life jackets and coming to Cornwall to visit. So.... an "occasion" was at hand. An "occasion" always requires copious amounts of food in my family, so you're guaranteed to have at least one individual who likes what you've put in front of them.

Both Neil and my brother, demolished my quiche. I've no idea if Josh ate any. Josh is a Ninja at family gatherings. He appears from nowhere with a plate. The plate is suddenly full to brimming. Then both Josh and his plate disappear... as if they had never been there to begin with!!! There's not even a throwing star lodged in a wall somewhere. It's like the air is displaced with his image, and a plate... then *piff paff poof*... gone.

I wish I could do that.

Especially just after I've farted.

* Raspberry Almond Squares

I know. They're not exactly square squares, but I can't bring myself to call them something as delicate as a slice, because they're really not delicate at all. They are, in fact, rather robust and pretty deep wodges of almondy, raspberryee cakie.

I have deep cakes. 

You have to open your mouth up REALLY BLOODY WIDE to wedge one of these babies in there. I know, because I've wedged four of them in mine. Not all at once, but I couldn't quite believe just how far I had to dislocate my jaw to get one in, so I had to try again.  

Four times!!! Okay. Three more times, because I'd already tried once and 3 + 1 = 4. If you clap - I will hunt you down and kill you.

I made these for Neil (out of guilt and because he loves them) because my oldest BFF, Kerry - dropped me in it. She mentioned his "I don't like custard" face... on facebook... and he wondered why she'd be mentioning such a thing... when he doesn't actually have an "I don't like custard" face... 

Mmmmm. Well. I didn't 'fess up that I'd blogged about it because I managed to instigate a discussion (yes - a discussion - NOT an argument) about the fact that I'd been with him for twenty years so I should absolutely know whether or not he had an "I don't like custard" face.

I win all arguments just recently by stating "Twenty years, Neil... TWENTY YEARS!!!" Which is code for "I know exactly what you're up to/what you meant/why you said that/did that/moved that/ate that... and you can't... fool... me!"

He just sits and laughs at me - then I let him get away with whatever it was he was trying to get away with because he's made me laugh too...

Mmmeh, maybe he can fool me. When I let him.

* Smoked Sausage, Tomato and Watercress Tart

It's actually a Smoked Sausage, Sun Dried Tomato and Watercress Tart in a Parmesan Polenta Pastry (try saying that once, without tripping up, when completely sober.... now have a glass of wine... and try again... much easier, wasn't it)... which is waaaaay too heavy a title to put on a recipe. It's almost a pedigree, and I'm hardly entering it into Crufts.

Food gets a bit *samey* sometimes, in this house. I don't always have the time or the inclination to cook much more than something that goes in a pot and will sit happily with rice or pasta... but occasionally, my need to use food up and make space in my fridge for another, fresher, culinary rainbow of vegetables - gives me enough incentive to become a bit more inventive, if not adventurous.

It was watercress that needed using up this time. I had been inspired to buy it, by a recent trip to The Finnygook Inn, for dinner. They served it with steak. I liked it enough that I bought a bag. That's how most stuff gets into the fridge. I have a moment of "oooooooh... what a nice idea, I think I can make *this* a part of my everyday diet"... and I really can't. There's a LOT of watercress in one bag. Enough to go with several steak servings, not just one or two.

I didn't buy steak. I only like steak, in any form, when someone else has cooked it. This is a constant disappointment to Neil.

Neil would eat shoe leather if I put it on his plate and told him it was steak. This is most probably because when I have cooked steak, it has resembled shoe leather... I'm really inspiring you with confidence in my cooking right about now, aren't I.

Back to my Tart... it worked a million times better than I had imagined it would. It really was one of those surprising successes (I am always surprised when I have a success). I experimented with the pastry and if I only ever make one pastry again, it'll be this one. Using up the watercress in the tart was also a success...

... Now all I have to do is work out what the hell I'm going to do with a ton of Marshmallow Fluff.

* Chicken, Sweetcorn and Red Pepper Quiche

This was only meant to be a chicken and sweetcorn quiche, but when I'd added both to the quiche base it looked so blonde and boring that I had to add something else to liven up the colour a bit. There's nothing worse than being bored by your food - especially before you've even cooked it.

Actually, that happens to me a lot - it's why I never cook what I've planned. I think I spend so much time thinking "I'll cook a spag bol tomorrow night..." that when the time actually comes round to cooking it... I'm bored with the idea. It's a rare thing that we do actually eat anything that I have predicted I'll cook... sometimes even up to an hour ahead. Which is fun.... There's also the rare occasion when it's actually in the oven... which is not fun. Really.

I have the attention span of a rabid gnat. With an itchy arse.

In truth, I'm very surprised that I am still food blogging after 8 months. I can totally understand why people start these things up and then just... stop. I have NO IDEA how some food bloggers manage to find the time to update their blog every day!!! Do they have superpowers?!? How do they keep it interesting too? Because they do.

I have days when I sit here, stumped, and wonder what an earth do I write about today? And other days it just kinda happens. Like today. I had no clue where this was going until I got here. And now that I've arrived, it seems this particular journey has ended.

My mind's a blank.

.... aaaaaaaand now I'm having a Homer Simpson "La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la" moment.

* Chicken and Leek Pie

I read somewhere that it was international cupcake week this week. So I made a pie.

You know it makes sense.

I don't know about you, but I get cravings for pie. Virtually any kind of pie. I'm not fussy. You could stick an old leather boot in a pie and I'd have a shot at eating it. Honest.

I. Love. Pie.

I like a really thick pastry on a pie too. And a bottom. Pies should have a bottom. When I was at catering college, many, many, MANY moons ago - we were taught that in the world of the professional kitchen, only sweet pies have a bottom. Apple Pie et al got the works. Beef Pie et al got a Frisbee lid.

Well, this is not the world of the professional kitchen. This is my kitchen, and currently (because I may change my mind - it happens) pies have a bottom when made in it.

It does help to use a porcelain or metal pie dish, when giving your pie a bottom if you don't want it to have a *soggy bottom*. I don't like soggy bottoms.

Who does?

* Quiche Lorraine

Pastry and I - have been at war - since around 1995. I finally waved the white flag of surrender, about 10 years ago when my mum sat in my kitchen, giving clear directions on how to make pastry while I gave it one last shot... then sat back amazed at the end result and said "You're right. You can't make pastry!" I did tell her. She wouldn't listen. I had to show her. I was actually victorious in my proof of failure. "See, mum - I told you... hah!".

Idiot.

About a year or so ago, I had eggs, cheese and crème fraîche that needed using up and I had an urge to make a quiche, but had no shop bought pastry, so I thought "What the hell, one last try". It turns out that I had merely surrendered the battle and not the war. I won the war. I just needed a magi mix. I love my magi mix. My magi mix is my hero - when hubby isn't in the room, of course.